User talk:Katrina0118/sandbox

Hey Katrina this is Mehayla. We are doing our practice experience at the Teen Center, the Y-Scholars Program. I was curious to see what you've done so far so I took a peak at your sandbox. It is very organized! I wanted to make a comment though on one part you said you wanted to add to the YMCA's wiki page about this program. I think it's important to note that this is a very unique program and only one other Y in the United States has something similar to it. So, it may not be something to add to the general Y page, unless you feel it deserves a spot. Anyways see you around.

Section: Housing Crisis

 * I think it's really great that you're adding a section on the housing crisis to the Wiki article on the Bay Area, considering it is such an important issue here.
 * You could also approach the housing crisis from the land perspective - is limited land availability a contributing factor to rising housing insecurity in the bay? If yes, what is being done to counter it?
 * In general, perhaps you could add more about current undertakings - both public and private - that are trying to tackle the crisis.
 * You could also expand on how the high housing prices affect the residents of the bay. Maybe even talk about the mass relocation that is happening as a result.

Article: Education NGOs

 * In line with what we discussed during class, maybe you could rename the section titled 'General Goals...' to something like 'Areas of Work'. That way, it'll sound like less of a generalization and more of a description of certain areas within which Education NGOs typically work.
 * The current goals would then be the different areas listed and you could expand on each as a separate paragraph. This would also shed more light on specific tangible efforts taken in each of the areas.
 * The section on effectiveness could be strengthened by adding more statistics (similar to your section on the housing crisis!).
 * You could further expand the section on effectiveness by adding more on what issues and areas within education are difficult for NGOs to work within. Maybe some more systemic issues are better tackled through policy change rather than NGO work?
 * I really like your section on public school trends - perhaps you could add a transition from this section to the rest of the article? The transition could make clear the connection that Education NGOs work to better some of the previously mentioned trends. This isn't a major edit, but it might make the article flow better.

Overall, I really like how you include a lot of statistics and hard data in your article. Not only does it remove any notions of bias, it also highlights the realities of the issues that you're describing. I also love the topics that you've chosen and can't wait to see what other research you're going to find on them!

--Yp1998 (talk) 05:59, 17 March 2018 (UTC)Yalini Prabhakaran

Peer Review from Jenny
Peer Review Housing Crisis in Bay Area -why so costly?

-stats are great information (very neutral)

-homelessness increasing as a result?

-linked to poverty or increase in inequality?

-be careful not to come off as too negative (keep neutral tone by only stating facts such as stats)

Education NGOs -what key issues are these NGOs trying to address?

-I like the list of major NGOs (familiarity)

-maybe state the pos and neg differences the NGOs make in the community/area?

-maybe include SDGs playing a role in influencing education NGOs

-add how NGOs are working to achieve the SDGs with UN

-be careful not to come off as too negative about the ineffectiveness of NGOs (wording may be too strong for neutral standpoint)

-overall great information and flow! super solid work you have(: Jenny1004jeon (talk) 04:04, 17 March 2018 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Katrina0118 (talk • contribs)