User talk:Keara8/sandbox

Personally I admire the topic you chose article considering that the United States is a country with one of the largest obesity rates in the world. In your lead you use the word "outstanding" which implies bias towards the topic. I recommend against using these kind of words that are usually associated with opinions. I know this is simply a draft but I also recommend including citations within the texts to allow readers to clearly understand which source your information is derived from. Another recommendation is to include how her work has affected society if possible, overall I think structurally the draft is constructed well but just make attempts to remain a neutral tone.

Hi Keara! I think you did a great job covering the basics of Lydia Roberts. I think overall your tone stayed neutral and your writing was easy to follow. I was curious however if Lydia Roberts actually had children of her own since she seems to have a special interest in nutrition in regards to children. If not just disregard that point! Once you are done editing the actual wording and research you found, it wwould be beneficial to hyper link things like the awards. I think it would be helpful for future readers to be able to click words they do not understand/awards they do not know about. Overall, great job! [AngelicaLB] — Preceding unsigned comment added by AngelicaLB (talk • contribs) 18:02, 19 April 2017 (UTC)