User talk:Kelh467/sandbox

Hi there,

As a part of our peer review, I would like to provide some feedback on your endangered language article on Turoyo in its current form.

1.	First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?

I am glad that you took the time to address a language that clearly faces threats of extinction. I think you also do a good job of staying neutral and presenting an unbiased overview of the language itself. I especially appreciate your grasps and review of the different regions and diaspora in your overview.

2.	What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?

In terms of additions to the article, I suggest that you consider adding at least 3-4 more strong references to build the overview up. I especially think that if you can find a way to explain how and why the language is endangered. Perhaps, you can add one more line to understand the historical changes a little better.

3.	What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?

Outside of adding the content, I believe some key stylistic changes will really help your article flow much better. For example, your article has a few run-on sentences that I would strongly consider breaking up into two or three sentences. This will allow the article to flow much better and avoid wordiness.

4.	Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!

Yes, I appreciate you providing the brief historical. I also need to ensure that my article is fully-hyperlinked from a practical point of view.

All the best!

Davon McCurry