User talk:Kellyg320/sandbox

It would be interesting to include more info about how the fire department's procedures and regulations changed after the fire, such as what improvements were made to prevent another event like this from occurring. Angelina1209 (talk) 16:18, 24 October 2018 (UTC)Angelina1209

I really like the section about the underlying causes of the fire. It gives good insight into the events that occurred and what caused them. Angelina1209 (talk) 16:26, 24 October 2018 (UTC)Angelina1209

I was a little confused about what the "epizootic" section was talking about, it could be helpful to define the term or explain what it means. Angelina1209 (talk) 16:29, 24 October 2018 (UTC)Angelina1209

Some of the shorter sections could be elaborated upon (gas lines, fireboxes/alarm systems) by adding examples or more detailed information. Angelina1209 (talk) 16:31, 24 October 2018 (UTC)Angelina1209

- The section 'Before the Fire' as it is now, feels a little out of place to me. It primarily talks about John Damrell, and I wonder if some of this information could be worked into other sections? Or perhaps this sections just needs to be filled out a bit more.Zachglee (talk) 16:31, 24 October 2018 (UTC) - I like the underlying causes and during the fire and aftermath sections. Organization is good overall. Seems like you have a lot of sources you just haven't put in citations yet. I also like your notes on the notable events of the fire -- a lot of them seemed very interesting, might be cool to have a section on them. Zachglee (talk) 16:44, 24 October 2018 (UTC) - Maybe you could also have an Impact section if there's a bunch of info about how this affected the public consciousness Zachglee (talk) 16:44, 24 October 2018 (UTC) - Link to wiki page for Mansard roof? Zachglee (talk) 16:45, 24 October 2018 (UTC) - His warnings were met with scolding not to “magnify the needs of his department.” This line seems a little emotionally charged and maybe a bit biased? I know you have a source that says this thing happened, so I think it's mainly the wording of 'his warnings were met with scolding' that suggests bias to me. I think you could probably word this more neutrally. Definitely keep the quote though and and cite it. Zachglee (talk) 16:50, 24 October 2018 (UTC)