User talk:Kfoche/sandbox

Peer Review edit:

Grammatical/Specific errors and comments from outline.

Introduction: The introduction is well written. The only thing I would possibly change is moving the last sentence where you note important positions and put it in the membership section.

History section: For the sentence :The APS was founded in 1988 by a group of scientifically-oriented researchers and practitioners who are interested: who are should be changed to who were to keep the verb tense the same since the sentence started out with was founded. At the end of the history section you state that there are currently more than 20,000 members but you list total membership as 22,500 in the upper right hand part of the article. In your outline you also indicated that you would discuss the mission statement but I did not see this addition to the history section. Other than those minor errors this section is fine.

Membership: The section you deleted was irrelevant to the article so great job deleting it. APS Student caucus: This section is a little unclear.You state that the APSSC is the precursor to becoming a member of the APS but then you state all college and undergrad members of the APS automatically become members of APSSC. I could be wrong or maybe I'm just reading it in a different way but this distinction should be clearly stated and not left up to interpretation. In the outline you stated that you would discuss progression to current numbers and I did not see this addition in your sandbox. You should include this in the article because it is an important concept. Awards and Honors: This section is  solid, great job. Annual convention: This section is also solid but I'm curious as to why it is called annual convention and not meeting. Publications: Within the “”Observer”” is the column entitled Student Notebook, which is dedicated to issues of interest to graduate student in psychology written by APS Student Caucus members on a variety of topics. This sentence is too wordy and can be separated into separate sentences. My suggestion is something like: Within the "Observer is the column entitled Student Notebook, which is dedicated to issues of interest to graduate students in psychology. The student notebook is written by APS Student Caucus members and it covers a wide range of topics. An alternate way could be: Within the ""Observer""is the column entitled Student Notebook.  The Student Notebook is written by APS Student Caucus members, and it covers a multitude of topics. Also I'm not sure why you put two quotation marks around Observer. I thought it was supposed to be one but I could be wrong.  Just double check this to be sure.

Public Outreach: I agree that this section was already in good shape

Teaching: This section is in good shape as well. No additions or deletions are needed. However some references or citations to this section would support this section.

Advocacy: This section is solid, nothing new is needed.

International Programs: I agree with your comment on your outline that more external links need to be provided. I suggest that you find these links and add them to this section.

References: This is a nice amount of references but they all seem to be external links. They are in a consistent format so that is good. I would just change the heading to external links to improve it.

Additional comments: Overall you did an excellent job on the article and the article is in good shape. It just needs a couple of citations and your good to go. With the exception of a couple of sentences the structure of the article is solid and its content is very clear and straightforward. The article also maintains and unbiased original point of view. The educational banner was present on the page. I would like to note that my comments are just suggestions and some of them may be just my personal preferences so don't take them to heart. Allenmad2234 (talk) 02:51, 31 March 2012 (UTC)