User talk:Kimyoojinel/sandbox

Peer Review

Hi Yoo Jin,

I would like to first mention that you did a good job with your rough draft posted to your sandbox! I do have a few recommendations to give you to hopefully help you improve your draft for final review. I noticed that you have added an in-text citation in your third paragraph; however, I would recommend that you add citations for every paragraph. You have probably read scientific literature before you wrote about Bill and Avi's research, so I would cite those papers and sources in the rest of your draft. I also noticed that you have simply stated the research that Bill and Avi performed, but I would go into more detail about each area of research. For example, you mentioned that Bill and Avi studied the confrontational statistic of amphiphile chains in micelles and bilayers, but made no mention of what they did during their experiment or what the motivation of their research was. Adding clarification to these topics will help your readers better understand what Bill and Avi's research encompassed. Finally, remember to double check your draft to fix some minor grammatical errors. I hope these pointers will help you out in revising your final draft!

Alex Jiang