User talk:Kjbatch/sandbox

Johanna's peer review
I think the sections that you added to the article are really important. You managed to outline the different therapy approaches clearly and succinctly. I just have a few suggestions relating to syntax and other ways to make it flow:

In the first paragraph, I think the two sentences “The approach taken to voice therapy varies between individuals.” And “There is no set treatment method that applies for all individuals.” are a bit redundant so you could just take one of them out. Also, I would reword the phrase “qualities about the individual such as personal goals and cultural variables” to something like “individual qualities such as personal and cultural characteristics.

In the second paragraph, stating “symptomatic voice therapy directly or indirectly modifies..“ is a statement on how effective it is. I would change it to “symptomatic voice therapy aims to directly or indirectly modify…”

I think the introductory sentence of the third paragraph is a bit confusing. I might write “Physiologic voice therapy is adopted when the voice disorder is caused by a disturbance in the physiology of the vocal mechanism” instead of “Physiologic voice therapy assumes…”. In the next sentence, I think “Therapy addresses directly modifying...” can be simplified to “Therapy directly modifies...”.

I like your little paragraph on eclectic voice therapy - it tied everything together well. Jogruber (talk) 03:44, 24 October 2017 (UTC)

Katherine's peer review
I agree with what Johanna wrote in her peer review. I think you added some very relevant information to your page, where you gave enough information for readers to understand the various voice therapy treatments. You also used some good and up-to-date references. The only reference I suggest you double-check would be the ASHA website. Although ASHA is a good quality website, I'm not sure if medical pages require that we only use journal reviews or books. My other suggestion would be to clarify the physiologic voice therapy paragraph a bit. I'm slightly confused if surgery or another medical intervention needs to be completed before S-LP services could be involved. Maybe give an example of this voice therapy treatment to make it more clear?

I also fixed two minor spelling errors directly in your sandbox.

Overall great addition to the article!

Khaen23 (talk) 03:52, 25 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback from Nicole
Hi Karen

Good job as the first time Wiki editor. An overview section is not easy to write and glad that you took the lead of it. I'd suggest to review this article and incorporate the information in your section as well.

Van Stan, J. H., Roy, N., Awan, S., Stemple, J., & Hillman, R. E. (2015). A taxonomy of voice therapy. American journal of speech-language pathology, 24(2), 101-125.

Nicole