User talk:Klinem/sandbox

Madeline's Peer Review
Hi Maddie!

Your edits look really great compared to what I remember from a few weeks ago. The page looks way more organized and the flow of information is a lot easier to follow. The overview is much clearer and is also very neutral and informative.

As far as grammar is concerned, I just caught a few things. I copy edited a few small things in your sandbox but left others for your own interpretation. First, make sure your punctuation marks are placed inside quotation marks. Also, I noticed you have a tendency of repeating some words such as "advocate" and attitude" especially in the lead. If you find yourself repeating words a lot, make sure to look up some synonyms to replace them with. If these words are a part of a direct quote, make sure that is apparent. I was a little confused as to where some quotes began and ended.

Additionally, make sure the bullets in your content box are all linked to the sections of your article. There are also some terms on the page that can be linked to other pages.

The title of your historical section needs some grammatical TLC. Try choosing between "History of Sex Positivity" or "History of the Sex-positive Movement" as titles.

Your three main sections; sex-positive feminism, history of sex positivity and 21st century all need more sources. There are several pieces of information that are currently not backed up by any source. I also really love what you've done with the 21st century section, but I think there is a lot of room left for development. There's plenty you can add about sex positivity playing a big role in today's activism for gender equality. Also, comedy today is extremely sex-positive, including stand-up comedians such as Amy Schumer.

Kira Cochrane - the person of interest whose article I am currently working on - is a British journalist who has definitely covered stories on sex positivity and how it has become a prominent feature in fourth wave feminism. Feel free to check out some of her work with The Guardian. I love the way this is looking. Great job!

Angelicastabile (talk) 20:17, 26 March 2018 (UTC)