User talk:Knraja

The world is passing through all types of natural, political & financial turmoil. All citizens of the world must try to contribute towards a better tomorrow by promoting peace and tolerance however they are able to do so. It is our responsibility as citizens of a global village we live in today to stay involved in each others issues and reach out with help during difficult times. Loss makes us stronger and wiser. A loss helps us to appreciate even the smallest, insignificant things in life. Our hearts become softer and full of even more love than we had to begin with. A loss helps us to see that we can't do it alone, that we need faith and hope to get us through. We learn the mercy and grace of God. The reason we complain is because we know what we really can and should be doing, how we really can and should be living, how we really can and should have things, and yet we do not. The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time. The greatest gift that Allah has given to a man is his freedom of choice. For that He gave us mind and intellect that is necessary for taking any decision. He also has guided us to the right path that is found in the Quran in the form of advices. The right knowledge facilitates to set right path of life.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Self- Development
Do not lose your faith in the shadows of the world. Even if your feet are bleeding, heads to the front, lifting it with heavenly light aboveyourself. Believe and work. Strive for good and waiting patiently.Everything passes and everything is renewed on earth, but whatcomes from the sky will remain. All the poor the most unhappy are those who have lost confidence in God and in himself, because thegreatest misfortune is to suffer the deprivation of faith and go on living. Eleva, because your eyes and walk. Fight and serves. Learn and advance yourself. Shines the dawn beyond the night. Today, it is possible that the storm will rumple the heart and torment the idealyou, goading you with the grief or threatening you with death. Do not forget, however, that tomorrow is another day. I know some ppl don't understand why I do what I do, but I am continue to be light in the cloudiness of this world, I am going to continue to show love to the ppl, who don't know it, I gonna continue to help the down trodden who can't help themselves, Anything I do is my choice, and some where down the line of most of lost my mind to put priority on what ppl think about my actions, and to a special friend of mine, I see the love you show and the sacrifices you've made from the beginning when there was no example showed to u, so with every breathe I take whenever u need me, I will be there always beyond the end of this world. And I don't give a DAMN about how any1 feels about it. We are living in a time of trouble and bewilderment, in a time when none of us can foresee or foretell the future. But surely it is in times like these, when so much that we cherish is threatened or in jeopardy, that we are impelled all the more to strengthen our inner resources, to turn to the things that have no news value because they will be the same to-morrow that they were to-day and yesterday — the things that last, the things that the wisest, the most farseeing of our race and kind have been inspired to utter in forms that can inspire ourselves in turn. Relax and enjoy the ride. Sometimes you can control where you're going, other times you get swept along by forces beyond your control. Yet you can always control how you think and feel and respond. You can always control what you carry with you as you move on ahead. Resist the urge to fight against events, or to become completely absorbed by them. Instead, find a way to make positive and productive use of them. There is so much more to be gained when you focus on moving forward than when you become consumed by looking backward. Rather than getting hung up on how you got here, become enthusiastic about where you can go from here. The way will sometimes be slow and bumpy, and other times it will be smooth and easy. In all cases it will be filled with opportunities for joy, meaning and true fulfillment. As each moment of life arrives with its unique and never-before-tasted flavor, smile and let it be. Then proceed to make it a masterpiece. Rest assured that the goodness will stay with you always, because you love it so. Be now in spirit where you would most like to be. Imagine waves of pure joy as they carry you along. Somewhere within you, all is well, no matter when, no matter what. Feel the peace of knowing the beauty of who you truly are. In every situation there is the opportunity to give a little bit more. By doing so, you can vastly improve the value created in that situation. If you’ve already invested time and effort in something, consider giving just a little bit more. Add to the momentum that’s already there. If you’re already making the effort, giving a little bit more gives even more value to the effort you’ve already made. It creates greater value from the combined effort. There are plenty of opportunities to give a little bit more. By doing so, you can easily distinguish yourself and set yourself apart from the crowd. Make the most of the momentum you’ve already established by extending the momentum as long as you can. Once you’re on a roll, give a little more, and keep your efforts rolling strong. In every moment, in every circumstance there is a new truth to be discovered. Life is rich with possibilities for deeper, more profound understanding. You are, at the same time, all-encompassing essence and also a particular momentary expression of that essence. You live in this moment and you live beyond it. Discovering truth is a matter of confirming in experience what you already know in your essence. The way you know it is truth is because it resonates so perfectly within the depth of who you are. Truth is not something you must be told. Truth is truth because you recognize it so completely. Living successfully in this moment and in this world is a matter of connecting your outer life to your inner truth. The most effective, fulfilling choice in any situation is to live the truth of who you are. In pure truth there is no fear, no worry, no anxiety or anger. Feel the truth that is within you, and let it guide your every choice. When you dwell on your problems or what you don't have, you generate negative energy, and chances are your life won't change for the better. Why not focus on the possibilities? When you make up your mind to do something, you'll find you can. Instead of thinking about barriers in life, reach out after opportunities. Instead of seeing a locked door, see a key. Instead of thinking about the rough mountain climb ahead, see yourself standing on the summit. Today, resolve to let go of the struggles and embrace your potential. Your shift in attitude will shift your life from the shadows into the sunshine.

Change
There is nothing more certain in our lives than change. Yet many of us fear change and make elaborate plans to avoid it. We fear the new and find comfort in the stability of the known and familiar. But to grow; you need to not only accept change, but to embrace it, joyfully. Think of a flowing stream as representing your life. In some places it flows smoothly, with barely a ripple as it travels on its journey. At other places along the way, obstacles create great turbulence; the water roars and thunders as it crashes through gorges and down steep falls. These represent both the easy and difficult times you experience. Yet, a stream may have a place where the water becomes banked up, stagnant, unhealthy. Here, nothing thrives and nothing changes. Welcome the rushing waters of change into your life, for change means growth, spiritual health and self-realization. Embrace each new direction you encounter with courage and enthusiasm. It’s the key to a happier you. Challenges show up in our lives to help us. There are a lot of negative things that we can think about challenges but what are some of the positive things that challenges can do for us? Here are four ways that our challenges can help us: 1. They help us grow. 2. They produce and form the character of who we are. 3. They strengthen our beliefs and faith. 4. They are used to help us to strengthen, support, and encourage others. Challenges are the secret weapon that can bring hope into our lives. We can look at any challenge that shows up and move through it towards hope for what we already have or things to come. So what are the steps for how to transform your life challenges to hope? I see that they can be broken down into the following three stages: 1. Allowing our Challenges to drive our Perseverance When we face our challenges and respond in an appropriate way, we can produce perseverance. 2. Allowing Perseverance to shape our Character When we have perseverance that drives us to understand the true meaning and lessons from a challenge in our live it shapes our character. 3. Allowing our Character to produce Hope When our character is shaped and grows through the lessons of our challenges, it strengthens our beliefs and faith which produces hope. When someone tells you: "There is always hope, don't give up.", what is your response? Do you hear these words and believe them to be true? or do you think they are just for someone else? Most of us believe these words are for someone else. We even will say them to someone else who is going through a challenging time in their life. We need to have faith that no matter what our challenges are that we face in our lives, there is hope that they will help us to persevere and grow in character. Embrace your journey through life because the desination isn't important. Everyday, every moment, there is a potential for your path to fork. When you arrive at that fork take a moment and decide how you want to feel before choosing a path. There are infinite possibilities, and you really cannot tell which path will lead where, but if you take a moment to decide first, you will automatically narrow down that list of possibilities and your journey will be easier. Remember this. Your journey is yours and you get to create it as you go. Common sense is often crucial but there is also something to be said for "going for it," whatever it is, even when everyone around you thinks you're crazy. Like supporting a partner with rages or an addiction problem or investing all your money in a dream with a 50-50 chance of failing or succeeding. History is filled with storeis of people who did NOT use what others would have considered common sense - and therefore invented, created or succeeded beyond all expectations. There is a fine line between sticking with common sense and following your passion, even if it does not follow the guidelines of common sense. Sometimes doing the foolhardy thing leads to an awakening or wisdom or reconnection with your complete self.

Becoming a Better Person
How To Be a Better Person How does one become a better person? I remember when I was studying in university, I didn’t like myself very much. I was rude, selfish, emotionally, self-centered, judgmental, highly critical, very obnoxious, and arrogant. When I think back about it, a lot of that came from insecurity with myself – a lack of self-esteem. I didn’t like myself, and this projected in my behavior toward others. I was dissatisfied with things about me, and hence I was dissatisfied with things about other people. Subsequently, I decided to work on becoming a better person. I didn’t like who I was becoming and I wanted to change that. After all, it’s quite miserable to live a life of self-hate. They say misery loves company, but I think the company misery attracts is self-debilitating in nature. It only makes you more and more unhappy, and no sooner turns you into a wrenched sight. Not a pretty vision, me thinks. Today, I’m a lot happier with who I am. I can’t say that I’m perfect or that I’ve achieved my ideal persona, because there’s still so much I’ve to work on. I also think that becoming a better person is an ongoing goal to be worked on, and there’s never a real end point to reach. I share with you 101 ways to be a better person. If you just follow a tip a day, you’ll go a long way towards becoming a better, more likable, person. Remember this isn’t about making yourself liked by others – but about becoming someone you truly love and adore, which will in turn attract the right people and opportunities into your life. Here goes: 1.	Commit yourself to growth (Be Growth-oriented). The more you grow, the better you become. I committed myself to a lifetime of growth back in 2006 (when I discovered my purpose), and I’ve never looked back ever since. 2.	Work on your negative traits. Are there any traits you dislike about yourself? Some traits which I didn’t like about myself in the past include being self-centered, arrogance, selfishness, critical, harshness, hardness, etc. Identify them, then work on them one at a go. It can be challenging to try to overhaul your character at one go. On the other hand, if you work on addressing 1 negative trait at a time, it’s a lot more manageable and achievable. 3.	Identify your ideal persona. What’s your ideal self like? Picture him/her in your mind, then write down all the traits of your ideal persona. Then, start living true to your ideal self. 4.	Find a role model. Having a role model gives us a concrete image of who we want to become. I see role models in people like Ellen Degeneres (for her genuineness and compassion towards others), Tyra Banks (for not being afraid to stand up for what she believes in, and inspiring women to do the same), Ivanka Trump (for her beauty, intellect and grace – representing the modern day woman), Oprah (for being a power mover in the world of self-help), among others. Who is/are your role model(s), and what do you like about them? 5.	Be a role model. The best way to be a better person is to be a role model to others. How can you be an inspirational guide to others? Live by example. In being a role model, remember it’s not about making yourself into someone you’re not (see #57 on Be Individualistic). It’s about living true to your ideal self (see #3). 6.	Be a better child to your parents. You only have 2 parents in your life, so appreciate the time you have with them. If your relationship with your parents is non-ideal, it doesn’t mean that everything ends here. I used to have a very poor relationship with my parents, until I achieved resolution recently. 7.	Be a better friend to your friends. I used to be disappointed at how some of my friends aren’t always there for me when I need them, then I realized that I should think about how I can be a better friend to my friends first before making such expectations of others. Likewise for you, think: How can you be a better friend to your friends? Read: How To Have More Best Friends in Life 8.	Be a better sibling, if you have siblings. I’ve several friends who are the only-child, and they frequently talk about how they wish they had a brother or sister. If you’re lucky enough to have brother(s) and sister(s), treasure them. Spend more time with them; Show them care and concern; Look out for them if you need to. 9.	Be a better partner, if you’re attached. If you’ve a girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband, think about how you can be a better partner to him/her. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to make demands and expectations about what your partner should do/be, but it’s difficult to take ownership for the things we aren’t doing/being ourselves. Commit yourself to being a better partner, and release your expectations of your partner. Both of you will be happier that way. 10.	Be a better parent, if you have children. Many parents have told me that having a child one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to them. If you have a child(ren), think about how you can be a better parent, without impeding on the child’s growth. Raising a child can be challenging especially as he/she enters adolescence years, but that’s also part of the joy of being a parent. 11.	Be a better employee in your company (if you work for someone). Often times, I hear people complain about how their companies are not giving them enough benefits/wages/support/etc. While this may be true, think about how you can be a better employee instead. Check if there’s anything more you can do for your manager. See if there are any new projects you can take on. See how you can improve your current performance. 12.	Be a better manager/leader (if you’re managing others). Many people leave their jobs because they’re unhappy with their managers. How well you manage your employees can dramatically affect their motivation levels and their performance. Put their needs before yours and bring the best out of them. 13.	Be a better member of your community. What communities are you a part of? Say, interest groups? Recreational clubs? How can you be a more active part of the communities? 14.	Be a better human to others. How can you treat the fellow humans around you better? Start treating them this way. 15.	Be a better being in this world. How can you make the world a better place? Start doing that today. 16.	Be Able. Equip yourself with skills. Your skills are like the tools in your toolbox. The more skills you have, the more able you become. o	Learn something new. There are always new things to learn, no matter how much you already know. The more you learn, the better you become. Read: Skills Development o	Hone your current skills. With your current skills, strengthen them. You can never be too good at a skill – there’s always room to improve. Even the best people in their fields, such as Tiger Woods (Golf), Michael Jordan (Basketball), Beethoven (Pianist) never stopped honing their craft. Read: Leveling Up Be Accepting of differences – be it different people, different thinking, different lifestyles, different cultures. For they add variety and color into our lives. If everyone is the same, life will be bland – monotonous, even. 17.	Be Adaptable / Flexible / Versatile. Have your goals and plans, but be able to change them accordingly when the situation calls for it. Rigidity is a sign of weakness, while adaptability makes you so much more powerful. 18.	Be Adventurous. o	Step out of your comfort zone. Are you sticking to the same routines and hiding behind a safety net? Step out and do something you’ve never done before. It’ll broaden your mind and make you a better person. o	Travel. Traveling broadens perspectives and widens horizons. I’m currently touring Europe and I’m gaining so many insights about different cultures that it’s amazing. The trip has definitely enriched my perspective on the world. 19.	Be Altruistic. o	Always have the best intentions for others. Go for the highest good in everything you do, every decision you make, every path you take, every thought you have. o	Volunteer (for a cause you believe in). Not everything has to be measured in money. At TPEB, I spend hours every day writing the best content and giving it away for free, without asking anything back in return from the readers. With volunteer work, you may be giving your labor for free, but this is time spent in good stead. Don’t underestimate the kind of difference you can make in others’ lives with just a few hours of work. o	Save the environment. Our world is being wasted away, day after day, with the harm the society at large is inflicting on it. What can you do to protect our home? 20.	Be Assertive. Stand up for your rights and things you believe in. 21.	Be Attentive. When someone is talking, give him/her your full attention. Don’t busy yourself with something else; that’s just rude and inconsiderate. 22.	Be Bold. Life is an adventure – don’t live it in fear. Boldly pursue your dreams. Boldly act on your instincts. Boldly create the life you’ve always wanted. Read: How To Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams 23.	Be Candid. Be frank, be outspoken, be earnest. Say what’s on your mind – Don’t feel the need to censor your words because you’re afraid of what others think. Be true to yourself. (But not at the expense of others’ feelings, of course – See #39 on Be Empathetic.) 24.	Be Caring. o	Show concern. There’s no need to wait for a cry for help before showing your care and concern. You can do it right away, right now, to those around you. Even if there’s nothing wrong, it’ll warm the hearts of others to know that you cared. o	Call your friends. Are there any friends you’ve not contacted for a while? Call them today and check on how they’re doing. They may not show it, but they’ll be happy that you called – because it showed you cared. 25.	Be Coach able. There’s always something we can learn from everyone, no matter his/her age, background or area of expertise. Don’t close off on opportunities to learn just because you think you know enough. Open your mind and let every encounter be a learning lesson. The moment you close yourself off is the point where you stop learning. o	Find a mentor. A mentor guides you to become greater than you can be by yourself. You should only get a mentor if (a) the person has something to teach you (b) your personalities gel with each other. Back when I was working in P&G, I had informal mentors who often stepped in to make sure I was doing well. At the same time, they themselves had mentors who guided them. No matter how senior or experienced you may be, there’s always someone who has something to teach you. 26.	Be Committed. Be committed to your goals and dreams. If you’ve set a goal, go all out and achieve it. If you’ve laid down a plan, stick to it all through the way. Don’t waver, for that’s not in you to do so. 27.	Be Compassionate / Kind. Always look out for opportunities where you can help others. Don’t get caught up in your own space – instead, look outwards and see if there’s anything you can do for others. Even the simplest things, like helping someone carry his/her belongings, is very much appreciated by others. 28.	Be Confident… in who you are and what you do. There’s no reason not to be. Read: How To Be The Most Confident Person in the World 29.	Be Conscientious / Meticulous. Are you attentive to everything you do? Such a quality is rare, but so precious. Conscientious people put their heart and soul to what they do; consequently they do a complete and thorough job in whatever they do. You’ll naturally be a valuable asset to whichever organization or team you’re a part of. 30.	Be Considerate / Thoughtful. Make a habit to consider others in your decisions and actions, for they affect other people. Make sure no one is negatively affected before you proceed with your plans. o	Practice the Golden Rule. It’s the ethic of reciprocity, which states “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself”. How do you want others to treat you? Shower others with this behavior, and you’ll attract more of the same. o	Practice the Silver Rule. Related to the Golden Rule, it states “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you”. It’s to make up for the shortcomings of the Golden Rule. How do you not want others to treat you? Make sure you don’t do this to others. 31.	Be Cooperative. Don’t be insular and seclusive. Be willing to work with others if they need your help. We do not exist in this world alone; Life is possible because we have each other. 32.	Be Courteous. Practice good etiquette. Always remember your “hi”s, “bye”s, “thank you”s and “welcome”s. 33.	Be Courageous / Overcome Fear. Is there anything you’re scared of? Don’t be. Fear is mental – It’s only what you perceive it to be. If you challenge that which you’re afraid of, you’ll realize there’s nothing to be scared of at all, because there is nothing to lose – We entered this world with nothing but our consciousness, we’ll leave the world with the same consciousness. Read: How to Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams | How To Overcome Fear (Series) 34.	Be Curious. o	Have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. So you’ll always be learning new things. o	Ask questions – often. The more questions you ask, the more information you can uncover. o	Get feedback from others. Feedback is one of the fastest ways to identify areas of improvement, since others can see our blind spots. Day 13 of 30DLBL is about asking for feedback from others around us so we can improve. 35.	Be Dependable. Be there for others when they need you. Always check if there’s anything you can do for your friends. If they call you, make time out for them. If they email you, take the time to respond. You never know when it’s someone in pain and reaching out for help. Read: How To Have More Best Friends in Life 36.	Be Discerning. Don’t blindly accept everything you hear or read; Always evaluate what you’re given with a discerning mind. This doesn’t mean you become skeptical; but rather you exercise your judgment appropriately. 37.	Be Emotionally Generous. Emotional stinginess means to be stingy with your emotions, while emotional generosity is to be generous. So, an emotionally stingy person is typicallynegative, unhappy, critical, judging, imposing; while an emotionally generous person is positive, happy, encouraging, supportive, etc. Be as giving with your emotions as possible. Encourage others. Be positive. Share happiness. Read: Are You Emotionally Generous? Image © o	Compliment others (with genuine intent). Part of emotional generosity is to be generous with compliments (that’s genuine and not fake). Get into the habit of giving compliments. When you meet someone and if you recognize something nice about him/her, let him/her know. You’ll make his/her day. 38.	Be Empathetic. Empathy is the key to successful relationships. Learn to see things from others’ perspective. It’ll let you understand people better, resolve conflicts, and develop meaningful connections. 39.	Be Encouraging. No one likes a wet blanket. Be encouraging when your friends share their problems with you. Be supportive when they tell you about their goals. 40.	Be Enthusiastic. Life is too beautiful to live dread and boredom. Embrace every day with joy and love. Start every day on a fresh new start! Approach every situation with excitement! And bring this energy to everything you do and everyone you meet. 41.	Aim for Excellence. o	Take on more than you can handle. If you’re managing your responsibilities fine at the moment, challenge yourself by taking on more. If you’re always doing the same things, you’ll never develop anything. You’ll no sooner atrophy in your growth. Take on more work. Push your boundaries. Stretch yourself. This way you increase your capacity. o	Expect nothing less than the best. Hold yourself to the highest standard in whatever you do. Always aim for the highest goals, the best results, the grandest vision. o	Live your life to the fullest. Because why should you settle for a life that’s anything less? Read: 101 Ways To Live Your Life To The Fullest 42.	Be Fair. o	Don’t bad mouth other people. Don’t speak ill of people behind their back, because it’s unfair to them and doesn’t give them a chance to defend themselves. Let the person know if you don’t like something he/she did, or otherwise make peace with it within yourself. o	Don’t discriminate. Give equal treatment to everyone, regardless of race, language, religion, nationality, gender, age, social status, financial status. o	Don’t judge. Don’t make conclusions about others’ character of their life based on 1-2 things you see about them. Always give others the benefit of the doubt. o	Uphold justice. If you see unfairness being exacted, step in to right the wrong. This includes intervening when someone is being bullied, or standing up for someone when he/she is being unfairly judged. 43.	Have Faith. Don’t put too much pressure on an event or a person to give you the results you seek. Do your best within your capacity, and have faith that everything will fall into place. 44.	Be Filial. Our parents have dedicated half of their lives to having us and raising us. Now that we’re grown up, it’s our turn to repay them for the life they have given us. If your relationship with your parents is not the ideal state you envision, be sure to read How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents (Series) 45.	Be a Follower. Aristotle said it best with this quote: ”He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.” Are you a good follower? Are you able to take directions from others? Are you willing to take directions from others? Before you think about becoming a leader (see #60), you’ve to learn to be a good follower first. 46.	Be Forgiving. o	Let go of your anger. Is there anything or anyone you’re angry with? Perhaps it’s time to give it/him/her and let things go. o	Bury the hatchet with someone. Beyond embracing forgiveness inside you, reach out to the person you had grievances with in the past. This is not going to be easy, but it’ll bring you a huge step forward in your growth. When I was younger, I had some conflicts with schoolmates here and there, due to misunderstandings. After I started TPEB, I decided I had to live by example if I was to pursue my purpose to help others how to achieve their highest potential. So, I reconnected with old schoolmates whom I had conflicts with. It was much easier than I thought – most of them reciprocated in kind, and after that we stayed connected as friends. 47.	Be Friendly / Approachable. We are all humans, here to connect with one another. If you see someone you don’t know, take the first step to know him/her. With people you know, keep yourself accessible so they can approach you whenever they need help. Read: 10 Tips To Make New Friends 48.	Be Generous. Find joy in giving. Remember life is not a zero sum game. By giving, you get to gain even more. By giving, you open the channel to receive new things in life. When people experience the beauty of giving, they’d want to give back too, so what goes around, comes around. o	Share the good things in your life. What are you happy for? What do you have that others don’t have? What are you proud of? Don’t keep them to yourself – Share them with others. Happiness isn’t a zero sum equation. o	Donate. Get in the habit of donating things you don’t need anymore. For example, old clothes, textbooks, books, toys, and the like. All my unwanted clothes are always donated to others. Sometimes I take the nice, unworn pieces and give them to my friends who can better appreciate them. 49.	Be Gentle. Our society has brought out a very “hard” side in all of us – one where we’re abrasive, one where we’re hard, one where we’re demanding. Bring out the gentle side in you for a change. It’ll make you a warmer person to be around. 50.	Be Grateful. For the good things you have, because not everyone gets to have them. For the bad things you have as well, because they strengthen your character and make you appreciate everything so much more. Day 15 of 30DLBL is all about gratitude. o	Write a thank you note to a friend. I think a lot of times, we take our friends for granted. We forget about what they’ve done for us and are doing for us, as well as the value of our connection. Write a thank you letter/note/email to a friend and let him/her know how much you appreciate him/her. He/she will be very happy to receive your letter. 51.	Be Hardworking / Diligent. Without hard work, we can’t wish to get far in life. I’ve seen people who like to take the easy way out, and this is not what I promote at TPEB. There are no “quick tips” or “hacks” that will give you instantaneous results – at the end, it boils down to sheer, hard work. 52.	Be Helpful. Offer your help even if people don’t ask for it. There’s always something you can do for others. 53.	Be Honest. To lie is to shrink into a lesser self; To tell the truth would be take a step up in your growth. (Unless there’s a higher value at stake, such as protecting someone’s well-being.) One of my values is truth – To discover the truth via personal experience and constantly challenging what’s around me, and to be truthful in everything I do and say. I don’t achieve this 100% of the time, but I do my best to uphold it every moment of the day. Read:How To Deal With Dishonest People 54.	Be Humble. People who are arrogant tend to suffer from an inferiority complex, which is why they feel the need to parade their accomplishments. Learn to be humble. There’s no need to talk about what you’ve achieved – if they’re really good, the results will speak for themselves. 55.	Be Independent. Learn to manage your life. Learn to tackle your problems by yourself, without imposing on others. Feel free to approach others if you need help, but you should never expect them to solve your problems for you. 56.	Be Individualistic. Always be you – don’t try to be anyone else. Read: Finding Your Inner Self 57.	Have Integrity. Set your moral and ethical principles and stick to them. Never compromise on them no matter what. 58.	Be Intuitive. Follow your gut instinct. Let your intuition guide you. You’ll never go wrong with it. The more you follow your gut, the stronger your connection with your intuition will be. 59.	Be a Leader. A leader is someone who is able to bring the best out of others, who is able to inspire others to be bigger than who they are, who is able to energize people into action, who is able to lead a way with a common vision. Contrary to what many think, leadership doesn’t begin when you lead a group of people; it begins in our everyday life, with how we conduct ourselves and how we live our lives. Are you a leader of your life? Read: You Are the CEO of Your Life 60.	Be a Listener. The ability to listen is quite underrated in our society today. Many people are good at talking, but not listening. For today, make a point to listen to what others around you are saying. Ask questions. Clarify their answers. You may discover new things you didn’t know before. If you own a copy of The Personal Excellence Book, be sure to check out 13 Tips To Be a Better Listener article on how you can be a better listener. 61.	Embrace Love. Be a beacon of love. Start by loving everyone around you. Show love to your friends, family, partner, colleagues, bosses, clients, teachers, etc – whether explicitly or implicitly. o	Love unconditionally. The highest form of love is unconditional love, where you love others without expecting anything in return. 62.	Be Loyal / Faithful. To the people that you care for, to the values that you stand for, to the things that you believe in. In the article Discover Your Values in The Personal Excellence Book, I share in detail about values: the importance of values, my values and how you can create your own. 63.	Be Kind. o	Don’t criticize. It’s easy to pinpoint faults in others, but really, it’s not in our place to do so. Not only that, it doesn’t make others feel good about themselves. 64.	Be Magnanimous. For every thing that people do you wrong, be ready to forgive and forget. o	Accept criticism. If someone offers criticism, accept it. Accepting isn’t the same as agreeing. You don’t have to agree with the criticism, but at least give yourself the opportunity to consider it. Every criticism is an opportunity to improve, to become better. Read: 8 Helpful Ways To Deal With Critical People o	Ignore malicious attacks. If someone flames you, take the higher route – ignore the person. You can defend yourself on areas where your values are infringed, but overall, keep a hands-off approach. It’s not worth it to engage in such discussions, because the flamer will only keep attacking, with no desire to achieve a resolution. 65.	Be Meditative. Those who meditate will know that meditation cultivates an inner peace within you. It makes you calmer and connects you with your inner self. Read: 10 Reasons You Should Meditate | How To Meditate in 5 Simple Steps 66.	Be Merciful. Instead of punishment, think forgiveness. Forceful actions – Pain, suffering, death, etc don’t bring closure to issues. 67.	Be Moral. Do what’s right over what’s wrong. The question of “what’s right” can be subjective depending on your upbringing, but universal values include equality of humans, gender equality, freedom of speech, freedom of choice, etc. o	Go the non-cruel path. I commit myself to a vegan lifestyle because I didn’t want to harm animals. While you don’t have to turn vegetarian/vegan for this purpose, think about how you can follow a lifestyle that inflicts less pain to other living beings. 68.	Be Mindful / Present. Don’t live in the past or future, but focus on the present moment. For this is where you’re living at now. Meditating helps you to be present (see #66). 69.	Be Nurturing. There’s always ability in everyone. How can you nurture it out of each person? o	Recognize the strengths in others. Our society today has eased into a state where we keep looking at what we lack or don’t have, as opposed to what we already have. The former is a scarcity mindset, while the latter is one of abundance. Rather than think about what’s missing in someone (be in character trait, knowledge, ability, etc), focus on his/her strengths. What does she/he have? What is he/she good at? What do you like about him/her? Focus on these vs. what you don’t like. 70.	Be Open-Minded. Be ready to accept different beliefs, attitudes, personalities, cultures, practices, rituals, lifestyles, habits, races, nationalities, diets, etc, for everyone is different. No one thing is right; it’s just a matter of what works best for the individual. 71.	Be Optimistic / Positive. For life is too short to be negative. o	Don’t complain. Complaining generates all this negative energy that makes you no different than an energy vampire. While it’s okay to vent every once in a while, be conscious of the times when you do that. Cut down on the time you spend complaining and think about what you can do about the situation instead. o	Smile. How often do you smile a day? Smiling is something we don’t do enough. Whether you’re out on the streets or at work, it’s more common to see people with stoic expressions and hard frowns than smiles. The next time you see someone, even a stranger, smile at him/her. You’ll be surprised how many people will return the smile. Even if they don’t, trust that they have been warmed by your smile. o	Laugh. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at the jokes people make, at the obstacles you’re facing, at the mistakes you’re making, and at the mystery that is life. 72.	Be Organized. The state of your life now reflects how organized you are. If everything is constantly in a mess, it suggests you’re probably disorganized in how you manage yourself. In being organized, you create structure, stability and predictability – which frees up your resources to pursue new goals. Creating a life handbook will help to organize your life. 73.	Be Patient. Do you get edgy when something/someone is late? Time is fluid; it’s a constructcreated to help us organize our schedules. Learn to be present and live in the moment instead. Impatience breeds anxiety; Patience brings calmness. 74.	Be Peaceful. Where you have a choice, go for peace over violence. The latter solves nothing, but creates more pain. The former is the start to a healing journey. 75.	Be Persistent. No matter what you do, never give up. You will achieve whatever you set out to do, as long as you have the will to do it. My story of how I pursued my passion and turned it into a successful business is an example of that. The only time when giving up is the way to go when your priorities change and you realize the goal you were pursuing isn’t what you want anymore. Read: Quitting to Win 76.	Be Prudent. Be bold and daring, but at the same time exercise caution. A touch of practicality never hurt anyone; it helps you to be more ready for what’s ahead. 77.	Be Purposeful. Pursue a cause that’s higher and larger than you. When you do that, you’ll naturally grow into someone who’s bigger than who you are today. Pursuing my purpose to help others grow has made me embark on journeys and make decisions which I wouldn’t have pursued if I was just living my life for myself. Read: Discover Your Life Purpose in 30 Minutes 78.	Be Reasonable. Know your rights, but don’t overstep your boundaries. Act within good reason – You’ll be the best judge to that. 79.	Be Repentful. Has there been anything you did that you’re not too proud of? Repent and process it; don’t leave it inside your system, because it’s like rotting flesh – it’ll create an invisible stench and affect you subconsciously in your daily actions. 80.	Be Resilient / Be Strong. Are you facing any obstacles that are making you waver in your goals? You have the strength inside you to do whatever you want – you just have to draw from it. Read: How To Start When You Have Nothing 81.	Be Respectful. Treat everyone with utmost respect, because every living being deserves that. 82.	Take Responsibility. o	Live up to your responsibilities. What responsibilities do you have? Are you living up to all your responsibilities? Shrinking away from your tasks is an act of avoidance. Stepping up to them makes you a better person. o	Don’t self-victimize. It’s easy to say “Why me?” when bad things happen. But it does nothing to build your character – in fact it makes you weaker over time, because you’re not taking ownership for your problems. Believe it or not, everyone faces these problems too – it’s not exclusive to you. Rather than wallow in self-pity, accept your problems as part and parcel of life and address them. The more responsible you are, the more control you have over your life. Read: You Always Have A Choice 83.	Be Self-Loving. o	Be Kind to yourself. Do you often beat yourself up? Stop doing that. You, above all else, deserve kindness and respect from yourself. o	Love yourself. For when you love yourself, you will automatically start loving others too. 84.	Be Self-Reflective. I make a habit to reflect on everything that happens to me, because that’s when I can draw learnings on what I can do better in the future. Self-reflection can take place via a private journal, an online diary, or conversations with others. Asking yourself the right questions is paramount in the self-reflection process. Read: 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself 85.	Be Sensitive… to others’ needs and feelings. Always check to make sure you’re not neglecting anyone. o	Don’t Impose. Imposing means to force your opinion on others. It’s okay to offer your opinion, but if others are not taking it, then there’s no need to repeat it over and over again. Keep it to yourself. o	Don’t give unwanted advice. One biggest problems people face in relationships is when the other party tries to dispense advice that’s not needed. Many times, people converse as a way of sharing. Check if the other party is looking for advice first before you try to offer your 2 cents. It may help prevent unnecessary conflicts. 86.	Dedicate yourself to Service. It’s said that service to others is the highest thing one can ever do in life. Think about how you can contribute to others and to this world. And dedicate yourself to it. 87.	Be Sharp. Develop your observation skills. Sharp people are always the first to catch on to something; because of that they’re ahead of everyone else in their thinking too. 88.	Be Sincere / Genuine. Speak from the heart, always. Don’t say something unless you mean it. One of my core values is authenticity – I only say things that I mean, and never say things if I don’t believe in them. 89.	Be Spontaneous. Be uninhibited! Allow yourself to act freely, without restrictions. Not everything has to adhere to a plan all the time. Allow yourself to just go with the flow. 90.	Be Sympathetic. If others are sharing their problems with you, be sympathetic. Don’t jab in with insensitive remarks. Don’t dismiss their feelings and thoughts. Get yourself into the same state as them and express your sympathy, so they know they’re not alone in the situation. 91.	Be Tactful. There’s no need to be rude or abrasive. Be polite to your fellow humans – everyone has feelings, even if sometimes it may not seem that way. 92.	Be a Teacher. You don’t have to be a formal teacher in name – The very act of sharing knowledge to someone is already teaching in itself. By teaching others, we become better. What are things you’re good in? Share the knowledge with other people. Start by doing it informally, and soon formally teaching others will be second-nature to you. 93.	Be Trusting. Always give others the benefit of the doubt. No matter what you think, the baseline intention of people is always good. No one deliberately does something to harm others. When they do, it usually comes from a place of lack, but not out of sheer malicious intent. 94.	Be Trustworthy. Always honor your commitments and uphold your promises. If you make an agreement with someone, be sure to stick through to it. 95.	Be Unattached. For all things are transient in life. This doesn’t mean you become jaded and an emotionless being. What this means is you relish in every moment of your life, every situation you’re in, every person you’re with, as it is, without clinging on to it when it has passed. For we live in the present, not the past or future. 96.	Be Understanding. Learn to comprehend things from others’ perspective. A common understanding is needed for relationships to be build on. 97.	Be Vigilant. While the world is a safe place by and large, keep a watch out for possible dangers, especially when you’re in a foreign place. Keep a look out for suspicious people. Stay clear of potentially dangerous spots. It’s better to be safe than sorry. 98.	Be Visionary. Set the highest goals and the biggest dreams you can imagine. Then set off and bring your vision to life. Be sure to create your vision board too at the same time. In Day 5 of 30DLBL, you get to create your vision board. I’ve also created a video on Creating Your Vision Board. The vision board of one of our past 30DLBL participants, Theresa 99.	Be Vulnerable. Through TPEB, I’ve learned that sharing our vulnerabilities is what gives us the greatest strength as humans. In the past few years, I’ve opened up about some of my deepest vulnerabilities, including my relationship with my parents, my past heartbreak, my disappointments, among others. 100.	Be Wise. Being wise means “having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion”. Practice good judgment by exposing yourself to different contexts; considering different perspectives; gathering as much information as you can; weighing out different possibilities. The more experience you gain, the more you learn, and the wiser you’ll become.

Creating Your Life Handbook
Create Your Life Handbook One of the key tools I found critical in my pursuit of personal growth and living a purposeful life is creating my own life handbook. A life handbook, to put it simply, is your manual that contains anything and everything important in living your life, from your life purpose, adages, life learning, long-term goals, short-term goals, strategies, plans, right down to your daily tasks. Just like you need a driving manual to learn driving; your life handbook is your manual to progress in life. Just as the Bible is the guidebook that reflects the doctrine and creed of Christianity, your life handbook is your map towards living your best possible life. Benefits Of Having Your Life Handbook First and foremost, having this document is your key enabler to becoming a true leader of your life. It is where you get reminded of your life purpose/vision, your adages and all your goals so you can continuously steer in the right direction. Having this level of clarity gives you instant focus, helps you take command of your life and ignore everything else that do not matter. Daily to-do lists, action plans for my goals, etc were great for a start, but they only allow you to live life to the fullest within those compartments. To truly live life to the fullest, you need to see your life as an entity by itself. Secondly, it grants you increased mental resources. Think of your brain as a mental hard drive that has only 10meg of memory. Because this 10meg of mental space is so limited and precious, you want to use it wholly for the task you are working on at any point in time (and become more productive in the process), rather than using it to store information you don’t need currently. A life handbook is like an external, unlimited hard drive where you dump every thing that you can ever possibly need so you can refer it to the future vs storing it in your mind. Thirdly, it makes you highly organized. There are a lot of different things we have to juggle with everyday – from pursuing our goals, tackling obstacles that surface, managing across different long-term and short-term priorities, to doing our day-to-day tasks. All these make it very easy to get into disarray. In a bid to become more organized, you may start using post-it notes, create to-do lists, buy personal organizers, etc. However, over time, just trying to keep up with these lists becomes a task in itself to upkeep, which defeats the whole purpose of using them to begin with! A life handbook, on the other hand, keeps you highly organized as it serves as the singular one central medium where you store the information you need. Fourthly, it makes you much more effective. Have you ever found yourself looping in certain behaviors which prevent you from moving forward? Do you ever feel you seem to be stuck in situations even though you have encountered similar ones before? In your life handbook, you document learning you gained from your experiences, so that you can always reference back to make better decisions in the future. This allows you to move forward in becoming the best person you can be rather than repeat your footsteps from the past. What To Use For Your Life Handbook There is no hard and fast rule on how a life handbook should be; it is up to your preference. It can be in the form of a book, a personal organizer, a soft copy, an online document, etc. I find a digital life handbook (using Excel, Word, etc) much more effective since 1) You can easily edit the information 2) It has in-built functions to organize information readily 3) It is transferable across different mediums. My personal recommendation will be a word document or spread sheet. If you’d like a hard copy, it’s great too. Go shopping for a nice book that resonates with you to get started. Key Sections of Your Book When creating your life handbook, bear in mind that this is just like your life’s blueprint. It should contain anything and everything that is important to live your best life. Below is a good starting point on what you should put: 1.	Life purpose/vision/mission 2.	Values 3.	Strengths and improvement areas 4.	Life adages 5.	Vision board (visual representation of what you want in life) 6.	Life goals: Long-term (5, 3, 1 year) and short-term (monthly) goals 7.	Plans to achieve your goals While the above may seem a bit hefty and overwhelming, there is no need for you to finish writing everything in one sitting; neither is it logical to expect that. You will find that simply writing out this document requires a high degree of self awareness and clarity on your life. Take as much time as you need to introspect upon the areas above. The handbook will always remain as a work-in-progress document. Make it a daily habit to update your handbook every day, even if it is just 5 minutes each time. . Below is a partial outline of my handbook: 1.	My overall life purpose/vision 2.	My life-long goals o	5/3/1 year goals o	My 1 year goals, break down into months 3.	My vision board 4.	My values 5.	My overall life adages based on what I have learned in life 6.	My strengths; My improvement areas and blind spots 7.	Things that motivate me in life 8.	My strategies, plans and tracking for my goals 9.	Daily to-do list (Updated on ongoing basis) 10.	Inspirational quotes 11.	Highlights of each year 12.	Reflections I get every year 13.	Miscellaneous information which I access frequently: My finances, my credit card info, grocery lists, etc Your handbook should be organized in a manner that is meaningful to you and effective for your perusal. It should be a document that motivates you and keeps you going everyday. It should keep you focused on what’s important for you. Feel free to decorate it with photographs, images, graphics, and the like. I include a lot of relevant visuals for my most important goals. For example, for my healthy living goal, I have visuals of fruits, nuts, fruit/vegetable smoothies, salads and water. Because this book is so important, remember to keep at least one backup of it. I have a copy on my computer which I access on a daily basis and a backed up copy in an external hard drive. How-To Guide on Creating Your Life Handbook 1.	Decide if you want a hard or soft copy book. o	As I mentioned in life handbook article, I recommend soft copy because it’s easy to edit. Mine is soft copy Excel worksheet. It has many different sheets, whereby each sheet is a section itself. o	If you want hard copy, it’s good too! Go shopping for a nice book that resonates with you to get started 2.	Fill in your handbook o	Start with your mission statement, and go from there. Refer to sections on what to put. o	Since it’s your life handbook we’re talking about, it can get overwhelming with the amount of information to put. Don’t worry about it – just do it bit by bit. It’s not meant to be finished in one day; in fact it’s meant to be filled in and updated your whole life. Do whatever you can today, then continue on tomorrow. 2 weeks should be a good enough time to fill up the core base of the book. 3.	Decorate it! o	Your handbook is all about you, so personalize it and make it appealing to you o	My handbook is an excel workbook with many different colored sections. They guide me in reading. I have a vision board sheet where I plaster all the pictures of goals I want After Creating Your Life Handbook 1.	Look at your handbook every morning before you start your day. With your handbook in place, develop the habit to start off your day by reading it. Start off with your purpose, your values, followed by adages in life, your long-term goals then your short-term goals. You will find that even just spending a few minutes looking through it everyday will give you immense focus and clarity throughout the day which will lead to dramatic changes in the long-run. 2.	Refer to it through the day to remind yourself of what you want. I have my life handbook open in my computer all the time, so it’s second nature to refer to it and update multiple times in a day. If it’s a hard copy, carry with it wherever you go. My clients carry their handbooks everywhere they do. 3.	Update it constantly. Start using it as the central repository for every single piece of information that is valuable to you. Whenever you come across something that is meaningful and noteworthy, incorporate that into your book. Whenever you have a new goal, include it inside. Whenever you get an ‘AHA!’, revelation or epiphany, capture it so it will not get lost. While you might find some getting used to in the beginning, in no time you will become naturally inclined to refer to your handbook every time. Remember, your handbook is a work-in-progress document. Nowhere will it ever be completed in the truest sense of the word, because your life is a journey to be discovered every day. Your handbook is an evolving tool to guide you to live your best life. Whenever you get a new epiphany/learning/insight, pen it down into the book. 4.	Back it up regularly. If you have a soft copy handbook, please back it up frequently (cue monthly). Congratulations – from today onwards, your handbook will be your guiding point, your manual to live your best life

Impressing Others
Ways to Impress Everyone Around You Far more often than any of us like to admit, our actions are driven by an inner desire to impress other people. This desire is often reflected in the brand name products we use, the bars and restaurants we frequent, the houses and cars we buy and the careers we choose. But are name brand products, fancy bars, houses and cars really that impressive? What about a person who holds an elite position in a career field they dislike? Some of these things might capture our attention for a minute or two, but they won’t hold it for long. Why? It is so because tangible possessions are not as impressive as intangible qualities. Consider the following questions: He drives a Porsche, but can he truly afford the car payment? He owns a big house, but is it a loving household? He makes a lot of money, but does he enjoy what he does for a living? You get the idea. Whenever the answer to questions like these is ‘no,’ the subject who initially appeared to be impressive no longer does. Now take a moment and imagine a person who loves what he does for a living, smiles frequently and bleeds passion in every breath he takes. Would he impress you? Would it matter that he wasn’t a millionaire? Here are 28 dignified ways to impress everyone around you. If you practice these tips on a regular basis, they won’t just impress others, they’ll help you become a better person too. We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give. - Winston Churchill 1.	Be authentic. Be true to yourself. – Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else.” Live by this statement. There is no such thing as living in someone else’s shoes. The only shoes you can occupy are your own. If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living – you’re merely existing. And ask yourself this: If you don’t like who you really are, why should I like you? 2.	Care about people. – If you don’t genuinely care about people, they won’t care about you. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth. 3.	Make others feel good. – People will rarely remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. 4.	Be honest and take ownership of your actions. – Nobody likes a liar. In the long-run, the truth always reveals itself anyway. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you. 5.	Smile often. – Everyone likes the sight of a genuine smile. Think about how you feel when a complete stranger looks into your eyes and smiles. Suddenly they don’t seem like a stranger anymore, do they? 6.	Respect elders. Respect minors. Respect everyone. – There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother. People will notice your kindness. 7.	Address people by their name. – People love the sight and sound of their own name. So make sure you learn to remember names. Use them courteously in both oral and written communication. 8.	Say “Please” and “Thank you.” – These two simple phrases make demands sound like requests, and they inject a friendly tone into serious conversations. Using them can mean the difference between sounding rude and sounding genuinely grateful. 9.	Excel at what you do. – I am impressed by great guitarists, writers, bloggers, painters, motivational speakers, internet entrepreneurs, computer engineers, mothers, fathers, athletes, etc. There is only one thing they all have in common: They excel at what they do. There’s no point in doing something if you aren’t going to do it right. Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies. Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence. 10.	Help others when you’re able. – In life, you get what you put in. When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life. Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. Everyone values the gift of unexpected assistance and those who supply it. 11.	Put a small personal touch on everything you do. – Think of it as branding your work. If you’re funny, add a little humor into it. If you’re an artist, decorate it with illustrations. Whatever you do, customize it with a little personal touch of ‘you.’ 12.	Over-deliver on all of your promises. – Some people habitually make promises they are just barely able to fulfill. They promise perfection and deliver mediocrity. If you want to boost your personal value in the eyes of others, do the exact opposite. Slightly under-sell your capabilities so that you’re always able to over-deliver. It will seem to others like you’re habitually going above and beyond the call of duty. 13.	Get organized. – How can you get anything accomplished if you aren’t organized? You can’t. Make a regular habit of organizing your living space and working space. For some practical organizational guidance, I recommend David Allen’s Getting Things Done. 14.	Do your research and ask clarifying questions. – Don’t be that clueless dude in the room who just nods like he knows what’s going on. Prepare yourself by doing research ahead of time. And if something still doesn’t make sense to you, ask questions. The people involved will respect your desire to understand the material. 15.	Share knowledge and information with others. – When you can, be a resource to those around you. If you have access to essential information, don’t hoard it. Share it openly. 16.	Be positive and focus on what’s right. – Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective. And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should. Either you succeed or you learn something. So stay positive, appreciate the pleasant outcomes, and learn from the rest. Your positivity will rub off on everyone around you. 17.	Listen intently to what others have to say. – Eyes focused, ears tuned, mobile phone off. In a world that can’t move fast enough, someone who can find time to listen to others is always appreciated. 18.	Be faithful to your significant other. – Tiger Woods was everyone’s hero until recently, wasn’t he? Sustained fidelity in a long-term intimate relationship is not only impressive, it creates a healthy foundation for everything else you do. 19.	Learn to appreciate and love Mother Nature. – Those who truly appreciate and love the natural world surrounding us typically exhibit the same high regard for all humanity. It’s a positive way to live, and it’s something people notice. 20.	Invest time, energy and money in yourself every day. – When you invest in yourself, you can never lose, and over time you will change the trajectory of your life. You are simply the product of what you know. The more time, energy and money you spend acquiring pertinent knowledge, the more control you have over your life and the more valuable you will be to everyone around you. For fresh ideas on self improvement and lifestyle design, I recommend The 4-Hour Workweek. 21.	Perform random acts of kindness on a regular basis. – Pay for a stranger’s coffee in line at Starbucks. Buy the office receptionist flowers just to say, “Thank you.” Help an elderly lady with her groceries. There’s nothing more rewarding than putting smiles on the faces around you. 22.	Compliment people who deserve it. – Go out of your way to personally acknowledge and complement the people who have gone out of their way to shine. Everybody likes to hear that their efforts are appreciated. 23.	Speak clearly and make eye contact. – Most people have a very low tolerance for dealing with people they can’t understand. Mystery does not fuel strong relationships and impressiveness. Also, there’s little doubt that eye contact is one of the most captivating forms of personal communication. When executed properly, eye contact injects closeness into human interaction. 24.	Make yourself available and approachable. – If people cannot get a hold of you, or have trouble approaching you, they will forget about you. Your general availability and accessibility to others is extremely important to them. Always maintain a positive, tolerant attitude and keep an open line of communication to those around you. 25.	Be self-sufficient. – Freedom is the greatest gift. Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom. And self-sufficiency is quite impressive too. In the business world, it’s one of the primary dreams that inspire people to give-up their day jobs to pursue entrepreneurship. 26.	Exploit the resources you do have access to. – The average person is usually astonished when they see a physically handicap person show intense signs of emotional happiness. How could someone in such a restricted physical state be so happy? The answer rests in how they use the resources they do have. Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has 25 Grammy Awards to prove it. 27.	Be a part of something you believe in. – This could be anything. Some people take an active role in their local city council, some find refuge in religious faith, some join social clubs supporting causes they believe in, and others find passion in their careers. In each case the psychological outcome is the same. They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in. This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives. It’s hard not to be impressed by someone who’s passionate about what they’re doing. 28.	Stand up for your beliefs without flaunting them. – Yes, it is possible to stand up for your beliefs without foisting them down someone else’s throat. Discuss your personal beliefs when someone asks about them, but don’t spawn offensive attacks of propaganda on unsuspecting victims. Stand firm by your values and always keep an open mind to new information. Of course, the coolest thing about this list is that everything you need to impress everyone around you is already contained within you. So stop trying to impress people with the possessions you own and start inspiring them with who you are and how you live your life.

Highly Productive People
The 8 Habits of Highly Productive People What makes a productive person? Is it the ability to robotically churn out work, hour after hour? Is it the amount of discipline one has? Is it the speed at which one works? Before we can discuss what makes a productive person, we should first define what productivity is. The common notion of productivity is the ability to churn out a lot of work in a short span of time. True, but not complete. IMO, true productivity is the ability to create a lot of high impact work in a short span of time. This is the kind of productivity we should concern ourselves with, not other kinds of productivity which are emptier / busy work that create no impact in the long term. For example, let’s say Peter types very fast and can reply 1000 emails a day. That doesn’t make him/her productive, because there’s little output (product) to speak of (unless the emails contribute to tangible, high impact outcomes). However, if John completes just one task in a day that has more impact than the 1000 emails put together, then he’s more productive than Peter is. I think productivity is really how you manage yourself, and the habits you practice. By selectively practicing certain habits over others, you can get a lot more output for your time. Here, I’ll share with you my top 8 habits in productivity. Practice them and compare how your productivity changes afterward. Habit 1: Ruthlessly cut away the unimportant. The first thing is to slice and dice everything that’s unimportant. Whenever I go to my work desk, I write down a list of things to do for the day. I then evaluate which are the most important things out of the list, first circling them, then ranking the items. After which I’ll challenge these items to see if they’re the best use of my time. What impact does doing these make? Can I be doing more high value tasks? Doing so helps me ensure I’m working on the absolute most important things for the day. For everything you’re doing now, ask yourself how important this is. Does this bring you dramatically closer to your dreams? Does this create any real impact in your life in the long-term? Is it the absolute best way to spend your time or can you be doing more high value tasks? If not, perhaps it’s time to ditch it. No point doing something unimportant! Say you’re handling a project that makes no difference to your business after it’s completed. It wouldn’t matter whether you take 1 hour, 3 hours, 1 week or never to do it! It’d still make no difference! It doesn’t end with correctly identifying the high value tasks. Often times, we’ll be imbued with a stream of random, miscellaneous requests throughout the day. I used to give immediate attention to these things. Say random request # 1 comes in and I’ll do it immediately since it takes just 5-10 minutes, max. This is the same for random request # 2, #3…. all the way to #20. After a while, I realized these things take a lot of my time and I don’t even get any meaningful result out of them. Not only that, I never finish my high value tasks. I may think I’m being very productive when I finish the random things, but truth is it’s just fake productivity. So nowadays, I use a separate “will-to” list for these urgent tasks. I dump all the incoming tasks here and work on my 20% tasks. At the end of the day, I allocate a time slot to clear these tasks. I batch the similar urgent tasks, then clear them at one go. Turns out I’m always able to get them cleared in an hour or less, compared to the few hours I’d have taken if I attended to them in the day. Habit 2: Allocate breaks strategically I don’t think being productive requires you to work non-stop like a robot. On the contrary, it’s when you try to do that that you become less productive. While the number of hours spent on work increases and the amount of work accomplished seems marginally higher, the work done per unit time is lower than your average. Not only that, the work done per extra unit time actually decreases. If you think the above sounds confusing, not to worry! Here’s a simple example to illustrate my point. Say you want to write a book. You can usually type 1,000 words in an hour working on your book. This goes well for the first 2 hours, and you clock 1,000 words per hour. However, at the third hour, you feel tired, and you type 500 words in the 3rd hour instead. That’s -500 words less than your usual output! This is known as the Law of Diminishing Returns in economics. Rest is important. No matter how much you want to work, there are areas of your life that it can’t fulfill. Such as love, family, health. That’s why our life wheel is made up of different segments, vs. just 1 big segment. Each segment is distinct and irreplaceable by others. By “rest”, I’m referring to any segment of your life that’s outside of Business/Career/Studies. Taking time off charges your batteries so you can sprint forward when you return to it. Earlier this year, I did an experiment. I went for a period where I continuously worked without stopping (save for necessary breaks like sleeping, eating, etc). I also went for a separate period where I would work, then space in break times in between work, such as catching up on emails, exercising, walking around the house, reading books, going for a walk, catching up with friends, a short nap, and so on. What I found was this: Output decreases over time when there are no breaks (despite reaching the point of diminishing returns) With breaks, the output can be maintained at a consistent high What this means is when I work non-stop without any breaks, my productivity keeps slipping until it’s near 0. However, when I take breaks, they help me start on a high note when I get back. Even though there are “down-times” away during the breaks, the high output more than makes up for that. Hence, by strategically placing my break times, I’m able to maximize my output. Rest, hence, does not prevent me from getting more done – it enables me to get more done. More time spent on work does not necessarily lead to more work done, but applying the above strategy AND combining it with increased time spent on work will maximize your output. If you’re self-employed or on a flexible work schedule, you can put this into practice easily. Even if you’re in a 9-5 job, you can still do it all the time. Whenever you feel unproductive, throw in a quick break. Walk away from the desk, get a drink from the pantry, go for a toilet break, talk to a colleague about work. You’ll be more perked up when you return. Habit 3: Remove productivity pit stops (i.e. distractions) Productivity pit stops are things that limit your productivity. They can be the music you listen to when you work, your slow computer, unwanted phone calls, alerts from your inbox on incoming mail, the internet, You Tube, Face book, Twitter, etc. These things trap you and prevent you from getting things done. What should you do then? Well, remove these pit stops! Or go to a place where they’re no longer an issue. For example, a big productivity pit stop for me is the internet. When I write my articles while online, I have the tendency to click to other sites. I’d check my mail, after which I become distracted by the new mails. The mails would lead to follow-up work and replies, which take time. By the time I’m done, a good 15-20 minutes has passed. Then within minutes of working, the same cycle repeats. So instead, when I’m writing, I unplug the LAN cable from my laptop and move my laptop to my bed (which is what I’m doing now as I’m writing this article). It’s a lot faster! Go about your daily routine and observe when your output slows down. What’s distracting you? How can you remove it? Experiment and try working in different places. Adjust your environment. Make tweaks here and there. The more productivity pit stops you find and remove, the more productive you’ll be. Habit 4: Tap into your inspiration I can’t stress how important this is to maximizing your output. No matter what field you’re in, your inspiration is the key to your output. For example, an inspired programmer creates programs that changes people’s lives for the better. An inspired structural engineer designs effective building structures. An inspired marketer creates breakthrough marketing plans that touch people’s hearts. An inspired writer writes continuously. A highly inspired musician writes one song after another I fully grasped the impact of inspiration when I started my business and was in charge of my full schedule. I realized during the times when I’m inspired, work is simply effortless. Take writing as an example. The words will flow and I don’t even need to process them. They get transferred as thoughts in my mind straight to the keyboard. My last article How To Finish What You Start was completed in 1 night, which is much faster than my normal articles which can take as long as a week (for series posts). That’s because I was very inspired when I was writing it. On the other hand, when I’m uninspired, nothing comes out. It’s like when opening a tap and there’s no water, save for 1-2 drops. What do you do then? Do you just idle, waiting for inspiration to strike before you do any work? That’s allocating your control to your external world, which really isn’t what this blog is about. I often hear people say they’re not planning to write because they’re not inspired. I think it’s not about waiting for inspiration to strike but about learning to channel into your inspiration. How do you do that? It’s simple – think about what inspires you in life. Is it helping others grow? Connecting with people? Being recognized for your work? Working with the poverty? Helping the unfortunate? Being #1 in your field? How can you achieve them? Find out your motivators, then use them to drive you. My biggest inspiration is to see others achieving their highest potential and living their best lives. I love seeing everyone living to their highest being, and if there are ever anything blocking them I’ll feel all ready to rip it away, so I use this to drive me in everything I create. When I’m writing a blog entry, I’ll start by thinking what an area people are facing blockages in is, then I channel into that energy. 30DLBL was created because I noticed while many people pursue self-help, not many know how to translate what they read into practice. I got inspired to create a personal development program which would encapsulate my best strategies and learning on how to live our best life. This program would consist of a series of tasks, at a manageable pace of one task a day, which would both trigger immediate action and create tangible results. And hence, 30DLBL was born. Habit 5: Create barriers to entry A great thing about our world today is that it’s easier than ever to reach out to someone. Everyone is just a sms/phone call/email/Facebook message away. At the same time it has become a highly distracting place to live in. Every few minutes, there’s a new request coming in. Your phone rings and it’s a telemarketer; You get an sms from a friend who’s bored at work; You get a new email and it’s some unrelated, unimportant mail; You get a Facebook mass events invite from someone you don’t know; Your calendar sends an alert about an appointment you already know… the list goes on. There are constantly messages coming from all different directions, shouting for your attention. Each one of them serves an agenda that’s not yours. And every time you pay attention to them, you’re distracted from doing what matters… to you. What do you do then? To get real work done, I recommend you put up barriers, so it’s hard(er) to reach you. Unplug your phone, switch off your phone, close off your inbox, set a personal rule where you only reply to emails after X days. I’m not saying disappear from the face of the earth, but do that during your work hours at least, especially when you’re working on an intense project. After a while, people will get used to it and adhere to the rule in order to reach you. Habit 6: Optimize time pockets Time pockets refer to pockets of time you have in between events. You usually get time pockets when waiting for people, commuting, walking from one place to another, etc. Look at your schedule. What are the time pockets that can be better utilized? How can you maximize them? Have some ready activities to do during these pockets, such as listening to podcasts, reading books, planning, etc. You will be amazed at how much can be done in just a short amount of time! For example, I spend a lot of time commuting. Even though I largely work from my home office now, I still commute a fair bit, say when heading out to meet friends, networking, business/lunch/personal appointments, giving workshops, and so on. While I try to schedule them at convenient places, there’s still downtime from walking from one location to the next, waiting for transport, traveling, etc. So rather than let the time go to waste, I use it to do some work. I bought a smart phone last year (with a QWERTY keypad) so I can type articles on the go. I also got a dataplan so I can check my emails wherever I am. Last but not least, I make it a habit to bring a notebook when I go out to jot down ideas. Amazingly, I’m highly productive during these time pockets. Because there’s nothing else I can do in this 15, 30, 45 minutes, I concentrate fully on what I’m doing. Right now, I’m actually typing this article on my bus ride home. Just a few days ago, I finished creating my 3-months plan from Dec ’10 to Feb ’11, as well as created the idea and book outline for my next book for next year, all while having lunch. That’s a lot of progress compared to if I had just spaced out, slept or idled away the time pockets. Habit 7: Set timelines A fundamental productivity habit, by Parkinson’s Law, work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. This means if you don’t set a timeline, you can take forever to complete what you’re doing. If you set a timeline of 2 weeks, you’ll take 2 weeks. If you set 1 week, you’ll take 1 week. And interestingly enough, if you set 1 hour, you actually can complete it by one hour too, if you truly want to. So set timelines. When you set timelines, you set the intention to complete the work by this time, hence paving the way for the reality to manifest. I do regular goal setting to maximize my output. Be clear on what you want to achieve (Habit 1), then set your timelines for them. What do you want to finish this month? What will make you look back and think that this is the best way you’ve spent today, and there’s no better way you could have spent it? Set that as your targets. Set your weekly goals. Finally, you can set your daily goals which become your day-to-day targets. Habit 8: Automate everything possible Technology today has made automation possible for a lot of things we do. Even when it’s impossible to fully automate the task, we can still use the systems to get a lot of the work done for us. Keep a record of the things you do today, and see how you can automate them. Some of the not-so-productive tasks that we do on a regular basis are: 1.	Delete, archive, sort our mails 2.	Delete spam mail 3.	Paying our bills 4.	Appointment scheduling 5.	Planning our days/weeks/months (unproductive because it’s still planning vs. acting) Here is a partial list of things I automate: •	Site mails: I set up a filter where all site requests and reader mails automatically go into my ‘Reply later’ folder. I don’t see them when I check my inbox – Only when I’m ready to reply to mails •	Scheduling: My schedules are somewhat automated. I set recurring items for things I’ve to do daily, weekly or monthly like paying the bills, posting new 30DLBL daily posts (for Dec 30DLBL), exercising (daily), workshops, etc so I don’t have to worry about them later. It’s not exactly automatic in that I have to first create the entry, but once it’s set I don’t need to do anything about it anymore. •	Tweeting/Facebook: I automate the tweeting and posting of my new posts. Every time a new post goes live, my twitter will have an announcement, which automatically feeds into my facebook as well •	Book payments: My book payments are automatic. Whenever someone makes a purchase for one of my books, e-junkie (my payment vendor) will automatically generate an invoice, a download link and a confirmation email and send them to the buyer. The payment is automatically sent to paypal. •	Coaching payments: The same goes for my 1-1 coaching, where the payment system is automatic. •	Coaching schedules: My coaching sessions with each client are set on a fixed day, fixed timing every week. Like #2, I have to first create the entry, but after that it’s automatic. That way we don’t need to arrange for a time slot every week and can get on with the coaching topics. •	Site maintenance: I’ve set up the blog and forums to be as low maintenance as possible, to the extent where my only involvement is to write/post new content and reply comments. Many things such as the statistics, category count (in the sidebar), etc are automatically generated by wordpress. •	Email filters: I set up filters for newsletters and subscriptions that go into different folders depending on the category. That way my only job is to read and get the value, not to sort. I’m continuously looking for ways to automate my process, so I can spend more time on creating value for others rather than being stuck in busy work. By automating your to-do list as much as possible, you reserve your time for the absolute important things.
 * Drawings are very empirical, but you get the idea!