User talk:Kp23/sandbox

Peer Review by KDMansfield
Hi Kp23,

Overall, you did a good job at integrating all of your resources! For the Raising Pitch section you were able to explain the process really well. Some of my suggestions for this section: changing transgender clients to individuals and perhaps mention before you talk about changing SFF that an S-LP is consulted to work on pitch raising strategies. I notice that you did mention therapist in the body of the article, but perhaps making that information a bit more salient at the beginning.

As for the Vocal Surgeries section, you were able to balance content nicely. I felt like I was able to understand the main points of each of the surgical techniques without feeling overwhelmed by content. It was also great that you mentioned that surgery is not always a stand alone technique for transgender voice therapy, there is often a combination of surgery + therapy. The only thing that I could think to add is to make a point about surgical intervention and female-to-male voice (unless this is stated elsewhere), but mentioning that surgical intervention is often pursued by male-to-female transgender individuals where as female-to-male often pursue _______ treatment over surgical intervention (if that is what the literature indicates, I could be wrong). Just to give the readers an idea of why the Vocal Surgeries section is only mentioning male-to-female transgender individuals.

Again, great job on the article!

KDmansfield (talk) 20:01, 30 October 2016 (UTC)KDMansfield

Hey Katelyn! Thanks so much for your input!

For the Raising Pitch section, I agree with all your suggestions. I will change clients to individuals. And I agree that it would be important to mention that S-LPs are consulted to work on pitch raising strategies at the start of the section.

As for the surgeries section, the reason I did not mention female-to-male transgender individuals is because their vocal pitch is usually successfully lowered by hormones, which is mentioned in another part of the article. I will look more into it just to make sure there aren't any surgeries for female-to-male transgender individuals, but if there is not, I agree that I should probably add a sentence explaining why they do not need surgery.

Thanks again for your help! Kp23 (talk) 19:35, 6 November 2016 (UTC)

Hey Kira! For the Raising Pitch section, I think you did a really good job of outlining the steps that happen in therapy for changing SFF! I think there are great examples of SOVT, but I don’t really understand what it is (or mainly, the purpose). How does partially occluding the vocal tract help to achieve a higher pitch? Learning to control airflow for a softer voice? A few other things are: What is gender acceptable range? Maybe you could clarify this; I assume that you mean what is socially acceptable in most cultures, but it could be interpreted differently by people without our knowledge to mean that there is only one acceptable way to speak? Some typos and run-on sentences in Raising Pitch.

The vocal surgeries section is nice: it feels like the information is concise, but you are still giving a lot of appropriate details and making the section really comprehensive. I especially like the last section that adds an element of reality to the topic. One thing that would be nice to add (but may not be in the scope of your section??) is explaining why shortening the folds, decreasing mass and increasing tension causes a change in pitch - I’m not sure this would be clear to people without background knowledge. Also, maybe specify that male-to-female transgender people *can undergo surgery to avoid giving a black & white impression on steps towards voice change.

Hope this is helpful! SLPJaslyn (talk) 00:39, 29 October 2016 (UTC)

Hey Jaslyn, thank you for your advice! For the pitch raising section, I agree that I should explain SOVT more and why it is effective, so I will more look into that. I also agree that "gender acceptable range" isn't clear, so I will expand on what I mean.

For the vocal surgeries section, you may be right that people may not know why shortening the folds, decreasing mass and increasing tension causes a change in pitch. I wouldn't want to get too technical about as it is not the purpose of this section. But maybe if I can find a concise explanation, I will add it to the article.

Thanks again for your help! Kp23 (talk) 19:35, 6 November 2016 (UTC)