User talk:Ktreat88/sandbox

Mat's Peer Review of the Elephant Seal Wikipedia Article
Good Afternoon Ktreat88,

Please find below some peer review for the Elephant Seal article that you are currently in the process of editing.

Firstly, the article's Lead Section provides a lot of unnecessary information that makes this section difficult to read.

1. For example, there is an extortionate amount of information on the species' distribution and it mentions various colonies. While general distribution and habitat information is fitting, any in-depth descriptions should be moved to a separate "Distribution / Habitat / Range" type of section.

2. The middle paragraph of the Lead Section should be split to separate the first half that discusses Elephant Seal's distribution / colonies and the second half that discusses Elephant Seal's evolutionary history via fossil records. In addition, I would suggest removing the last sentence in this paragraph ("teeth originally identified...") as it seems highly unnecessary and is not re-visited later on in the article.

Secondly, I would suggest further developing the "Life History" section as it currently only presents rather superficial information on life expectancy, age at maturity, and reproduction. A lot more information could be presented on the Elephant Seal's mating systems and reproductive cycles.

1. For example, there is no information on mating behaviors such as bull fighting, the use of their proboscis for mate attraction, calf rearing periods, and specific mating seasons.

Just a couple thoughts! Mcramer2017 (talk) 19:13, 22 February 2018 (UTC)mcramer2017

Thank you for the comments and advice! Everything you noted I will try to address if I can find the appropriate information. Also thank you for the organization tips, I think this will help the article flow better as well. Ktreat88 (talk) 18:10, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

Heather's Peer Review
Hello Ktreat88,

Im sure you have solid plans for editing this article, but here are a few things I found while reviewing. The lead section contains too much information, it would be more effective to focus on the main points, and get into the details later in the article. Perhaps adding an isolated section on taxonomy would make the information more distinguished. Also, a section addressing the elephant seal's diet and foraging habits could be beneficial, rather than including the diet information in the "physiology" section. I like the cute seal pictures, and the article has a good amount of references backing up the facts. Any additional information you can gather from all those references would be improvement. Goodluck with your editing!

-Heather Molander — Preceding unsigned comment added by Heathermolander (talk • contribs) 03:01, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

Savannah's Peer Review
Hello Ktreat,

Look like your article has a lot of information. Maybe some taxonomic background could be included.

In the second paragraph, "The oldest known unambiguous elephant seal fossils are fragmentary fossils of an unnamed member of the tribe Miroungini described from the late Pliocene Petane Formation of New Zealand" seems like it could be controversial so maybe look into that and making it less bias or just removing it completely.

Also the first four sentences of the article are not cited. Try to avoid unsure words like seemingly and maybe, i saw a few in there.

Looks like there are a lot of good references in there already! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ssummers2015 (talk • contribs) 21:25, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback Ssummers2015! I agree with the advice that you have provided. This article could benefit from less bias and "unsure" terminology. I will also look into finding citations for those sentences if possible. Thanks for your input! Ktreat88 (talk) 16:03, 1 March 2018 (UTC)