User talk:Kumpf.Vanessa/sandbox

Hi Vanessa! Your article looks really good with the organization and information. I really liked how simple the first section was. It included the basics of the rest of the article without going too in-depth. One place that was tricky to understand was when you said "terrestrial animals", as a reader I would like more of an explanation about what that means. Maybe putting the diet of Steelhead in its own section with a little more detail. The reference links all worked just like they should. It was easy to see where you got your information from. AdenWhite (talk) 23:57, 6 November 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review By Erin Ford
Hi Vanessa!

Your lead section was full of strong information that explained in great detail what I was going to be learning about.

In your description you said: “As Steelhead return to freshwater they become more colored like a stream rainbow trout, with a pink stripe down the sides and an olive colored back.” I found it might be easier to read if you separate this into two sentences. Like: “As steelhead return to freshwater, they become more colored. They can look like a stream rainbow trout with a pink stripe down the sides and an olive colored back.” Again when you say “A number of distinct population segments of steelhead trout are endangered or threatened across the United States, mostly caused by the blocking of waterways by the construction of dams.”  That is such a long sentence, I might break it up like: “A number of distinct population segments of steelhead trout are endangered or threatened across the United States. This is mostly caused by the blocking of waterways by the construction of dams.” As the reader, I feel like breaking up these sentences makes me able to take in the information easier!

In your description you entered a sentence stating: “When the fish are newly hatched, they feed on zooplankton and small insects. Once mature, the fish eat a large variety of food sources: fish eggs, insects, crustaceans, mollusks, small fish, and terrestrial animals.” I feel like this could have its own section! You can have a whole section on “Food” or “What Steelhead Trout Eat.” I did a google search and found this source https://www.fws.gov/fisheries/freshwater-fish-of-america/steelhead_trout.html that says Steelhead Trout also eat small mice and explains the diet a bit. This source also goes into more detail about the shape of the Trout and you can add that into your description when you talk about their length.

The structure of the article is fairly clear but you could add a few more sections! In the article I linked above, there is a paragraph all about there habitat. You could have a section all about habitat!

The section about threats, could even be expanded. I found this source: https://www.fisheries.noaa.gov/species/steelhead-trout and it lists some places labeled under the Endangered Species Act!

Overall I found your article as very informative and clear! It’s a great start to writing about Steelhead Trout! I found that you also did a great job staying neutral and finding relevant sources which is important. Erinford44 (talk) 05:02, 7 November 2019 (UTC)

Article draft feedback
This is a solid starting point for your article additions! Breaking out the information on reproduction to its own section is a good move, and adding material about threats is a strong start to an addition. You also do a really nice job using third person neutral language throughout this. The biggest notes I have as you continue researching, adding, and revising are:
 * The biggest thing this article work still needs is more content/material. I would recommend looking at more fully-developed articles of other specific fish to get further ideas for how to expand on and improve this one. Additional sources would also very likely be helpful on this front.
 * Many of your updates to the lead make a lot of sense. There are a few, though, that are clearly-sourced statements in the existing article that seem to be deleted in this version, and I'm not sure why already supported information wouldn't remain in the article. Is it not accurate, or are the sources no longer available?
 * Each statement of fact (such as "The females then buries the eggs in a foot of gravel") should have a link to the relevant source(s) in your reflist at the end of the sentence, rather than just once at the end of the paragraph. Similarly, there shouldn't be sources linked in a section heading (as is currently the case with the "2019 award winners" section).
 * Are you considering adding an image to this article?

I think those are my biggest notes based on this draft. Let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to seeing your final edits! Nicoleccc (talk) 01:14, 9 November 2019 (UTC)