User talk:Kvattath/sandbox

Excellent work! I concur with reviews below and have nothing else to add - --Amille75 (talk) 04:49, 7 December 2015 (UTC)

Great job Kenn! This was really easy to read and follow and had a lot of great content.Here are some additional comments:

-Remember to italicize the journal names for your sources! -Consider including links to wiki pages for key words in your final piece. Such as "perennial" and specific species pages (if there are any!) so readers who aren't familiar with these words have easy access to this information -Consider a transition sentence between the third and fourth paragraphs and the fifth and sixth paragraphs -I really liked how you mentioned a few times that additional studies may lead to further support or new findings. This showed strong potential but did not commit to suggestions that can not yet be scientifically supported and suggested. -Maybe add to your conclusion a short summary/list of all the different traits and were discussed to put this information in one concise sentence for readers?

Great job!! -Lauren Engel

General Comments:

Whoaaa. A bath in concentrated sulphuric acid? That's dangerous stuff! I wonder how that could be handled if it is used for crop development.

You do a good job of relating everything to possible utility. Good job.

Great concluding paragraph.

Grammar: I feel like there isn't a strong transition from the first to second paragraph. Perhaps in the beginning of the second paragraph you can put something like, "Cicer Canariense, for example, a perennial species..."

Same comment for 3rd paragraph and 4th. You sort of jump straight into constraints without introduction of the topic.

References:

In your references, I don't think there is supposed to be commas after the journal name, volume(issue), and page numbers.

-Rocky Leng — Preceding unsigned comment added by RockyLeng8 (talk • contribs) 17:58, 25 November 2015 (UTC)

General Comments from Amir:

-Overall, a well, thought-out page. My eyes were glued to the screen the whole time. - You had a good intro and conclusion that laid the foundation of what your crop was all about: being a good food source. - The main take away I believe is that through these tests, scientists were able to see your crop as a viable food source - I would work on perhaps briefly defining some terms. The general public may not know of "field emergence" or "transhipping" and there might not be other links explaining them. Thus, to send a clear message about your crop, I would define these terms. - I would also explain what "close affinities" you are referring to near the end of your entry.

Grammar from Amir: - Good logical progression of thought and syntax - Make sure you italicize your Genus species names like this: Homo habilis

References from Amir: - Good number of resources, looks like you have plenty to work with - your sources are sited consistently and accurately, well done. - However, remember to always italicize the Journals from which you took the journals. Zakharya (talk) 18:31, 1 December 2015 (UTC)