User talk:Kwc2012

Hello friend MozHoag28 (talk) 15:18, 1 February 2012 (UTC)

Thoughts on your sandbox work
Hi there! Sorry to be a bit late in getting back to you with some feedback on your work. Overall, it's looking great-- you're doing an excellent job keeping a neutral point of view and sticking to reports rather than analysis! One place you might change the language is where you say "The most powerful arguments assert"-- since it's judging the persuasiveness of arguments, you might want to change it instead to something more report-minded like "The most prevalent argument asserts that" or "Many expressing concern have asserted." Additionally, forgive my lack of sports knowledge, but it seems you're only talking about Division I and there is more than just Division I, right? So you may need to use another subheader of "Division I" either under the "history of" section you've created (IF the history of all divisions is included there), or right after the "United States" header (IF you are not talking about the history of Division II and III in your "history" section. Hope that makes sense.  Finally, one more small thing-- it's fantastic that you're citing heavily throughout, but your first section is almost exclusively drawn from source 1.  If you can diversify a bit, that's great-- but if not, keep it as it is, I think.  Better too many citations than too few!  Let me know if you have further questions, and happy writing! Sleuthwood (talk) 14:40, 14 March 2012 (UTC)

Wikipedia Education Program Student Survey
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