User talk:Lancelotsdaughter/Melania the Younger/Todd Andrea Peer Review

Peer Review
Here are the peer review notes I left on your article:

Lead:

- It doesn't look like the lead has been changed, but I think the intro. is and informative.

- Yes. I would say the first sentence "Melania the Younger ( c. 383 - 31 December 439) is a Christian saint and Desert Mother who lived during the reign of Emperor Honorius, son of Theodosius I." is concise and describes the topic of the article.

- Not clearly. I feel like it dives into content rather quickly, but it isn't confusing. I would just add some bits about what the article will be discussing.

- ^ No, because I feel like it's diving straight into content. I would re-examine the intro. paragraph of the article.

- It isn't overly detailed and it is concise in the information it is providing. I would just add some more about what the article is talking about! :)

Content:

- Yes, the content is relevant.

- Yes, I believe the content is up to date.

- No, to my knowledge nothing is missing!

- In the sense that she was a woman, yes, but since she came from a rich family I don't know if I would go to say her story fully represents the equity gap.

Tone and Balance:

- Yes.

- No.

- Yes.

- No.

Sources and References:

- I see your references listed, but am having trouble differentiating between what is yours and what is from the original article. You sources look great, though! As long as they're put in there I think you're in a great spot! :)

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- I would say the sources are diverse in terms of where they're from, which is good!

- I think you picked some great sources!

- The ones I clicked work!

Organization:

- Yes, the content is well-written! :)

- I'm not seeing any grammatical issues at this time.

- The content added is well-organized! I had a bit of trouble differentiating between what was yours and what was original, but it is your sandbox so as long as you can, that's what matters!

Images and Media:

- Yes!

- I would say the captioning describing what it is, works. However, I would say the picture could be described in more depth: i.e. color, positioning, background, etc.

- Yes.

- Yes!

**I don't believe this is a new article.

Overall Impressions:- I would say so, yes!

- A big strength I saw in this article (and in your additions) is the depiction of her life. It lays an excellent foundation for understanding content that either involves her directly or is relevant to her story!

- The biggest note I would add about improvement is just making it a bit more clear what is being changed and why that part is being changed. That was the only problem I experienced!

'** Great work! :))'

Great job!Todd Andrea (talk) 01:56, 12 April 2023 (UTC) Todd Andrea (talk) 01:55, 12 April 2023 (UTC)

Peer Review Response
Thank you so much for your peer review of my article. After talking in class, I think we came to the conclusion that a topic on asceticism, as well as Melania's early ascetic wishes, should be brought up after the first paragraph. I will start this addition and will start to work on this for my final submission. For now, both you and my other peer review commented on how difficult it was to tell what I edited and added versus what was already present. I found myself also getting confused when trying to edit because I would get lost in what was mine and what existed. For my corrections today, I will be making sure I am aware of what I edited and added so that when I edit in the future, there is no stress or confusion. Good luck with your article! Lancelotsdaughter (talk) 18:49, 13 April 2023 (UTC)