User talk:Lar282/sandbox

Content
From instructor: First sentence- ‘any’ should be ‘many’- not all are inhibited. “specifically added fermenting”- clearer to say ‘inoculated’ Change word choice for ‘flourish’- maybe ‘ferment’ or ‘encourages the inoculated yeast to dominate…’ Add ‘molecular’ sulfur dioxide, and since we do not always add this form, remove ‘original’. We often add potassium metabisulfite, for instance. What do you mean by this(?) and cite this part of the sentence or remove it: “while the bisulfite and sulfite ions contribute to flavor.” Molecular So2 has a flavor, more than the other two forms.

Your second to last sentence reads like opinion- SO2 is more commonly added after fermentation, with some producers not adding at the start. For your last statement, I suggest you remove or reword this so it makes more sense: preventing the finished cider from releasing hydrogen peroxide or aldehydes that produce "off" odors and flavors.Oenotropae (talk) 19:28, 4 May 2018 (UTC)

Tone
Fine, other then what is mentioned above. :) Bryantlib (talk) 15:29, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Before making the paragraph 'live'
Remember to work with group members when uploading to the live page to ensure you dont upload the same information. Also consider how you will insert your information into the existing cider page. You may have to break up your sentences or not include everything depending on the information that is already on the page.

PROOFREAD your paragraph before you make your information 'live'.

Before you post make sure one person in your group created a new section on the Cider apple talk page you are uploading to, letting the people watching the page know you are making edits. And also make sure you summarize your final change, when submitting to the live page. If you don't remember how to do these steps, re-watch the tutorial. :)Bryantlib (talk) 15:29, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Adding information to Cider page
You are inserting information on the Cider page, which is semi-protected, to add your paragraphs to the live page, you will need to have made at least 10 edits. You can do this in several ways. editing in your sandbox or a group member's sandbox, or/and going through and doing the steps in the tutorial all add edits to your username. Basically you change something and hit 'publish changes' it counts as an edit. The little box called 'Notices' on the top right of all the Wikipedia pages tells you when you have made 10 edits. Bryantlib (talk) 15:29, 7 May 2018 (UTC)