User talk:Laura.silverstein1/sandbox

Great job!! Please see outstanding reviewer comments below. References are good but require some edits in formatting as noted below. Please let me know if you have any questions. --Amille75 (talk) 04:50, 7 December 2015 (UTC)

General comments: •	Main message: Secale cereale is significant in nutritional value as well as in improving other crops. •	Well worded and easy to understand •	I like how you transitioned from what was already written •	I like how you sum up the paragraphs at the end •	How are the antifreeze properties different? •	What are rye species
 * Bulleted list item

Grammar: •	“Along with Secale cereale’s” – apostrophe added •	“It was discovered…” - What possesses? I think there may be noun verb disagreement. •	Scientific names look good

References: •	5 references from scientific journals •	It says template before all of your references just so you know. •	Year goes after authors •	Make sure journal is italicized McKenna Murphy

1. General Comments

 * Upon reading this draft, I felt that the author understood and effectively synthesized the vast amount of research that she did on Secale cereale. I appreciated how the content made sense and was easy to follow.
 * One suggestion I have is to introduce the antifreeze property of S. cereale before going into further detail about this unique characteristic
 * As I was reading the article, I had no further questions as I think the author did a thorough job of introducing this new information.

2.	Grammar

 * I saw no spelling errors and all scientific names are written correctly.
 * One suggestion I have is to try to avoid using the passive voice as much because it sounds less vague, for example: “Researchers are able to pinpoint certain proteins” VS. “ Researchers have now been able to pinpoint certain proteins. Similarly “Secale cereale is known to improve the soil caliber” VS. “Secale cereale has been known to improve the soil caliber”. I think it conveys the same information in a more direct way and gives more credit to the action. However, I understand the passive voice has more of an “authoritative” tone, which can be useful in an encyclopedia article.
 * Missing the word “it”, change the tense of harvest to match with “minimized” in the sentence: “Moreover, this research also suggests that the biomass of this plant changes at different stages of growth, so it can be minimized by selecting a specific growth stage in which it is harvested.”
 * To maintain subject/verb agreement, I suggest changing “the methane production of Secale cerale were heightened during the pre-maturing stage” to “the methane production of Secale cerale was heightened during the pre-maturing stage”.
 * In the second to last sentence of the first paragraph, I suggest to use “unfavorable” instead of “unbeneficial” because I think it conveys the idea in a better way.
 * In the second paragraph, change to “Along with Secale cereale’s relationship and impact on the environment, it is also a valuable species.” “Amazing” implies too much subjectivity in a contribution that is supposed to be objective.
 * I suggest to change “combination plant” to “hybrid plant” to utilize more scientific terminology.

3.	References

 * Yes, there are five references and all are from scientific journals.
 * For references 1-4, I think the full citation is required (with all of the author’s names listed) instead of using “et al.”
 * The year should be in parentheses immediately after the last author's name.
 * The journal name should be italicized.
 * This is more of a formatting issue, but each reference is preceded with “Template:” I wonder if the author could use a different method to cite the references so that that does not appear.

Overall I thought you did a fantastic job on the assignment and I learned a lot! --96.35.145.169 (talk) 23:37, 30 November 2015 (UTC)Jesguerr

General Comments:
 * Secale cereale article is well thought out and written accordingly
 * I enjoyed the depth of knowledge brought to light in this article
 * Could more categories be used to further distinguish differences in text details?

Grammar:
 * No off-hand obstructive grammar errors found
 * Could incorporate a few sentences together through commas and avoid repetitive sentence structure
 * Sentences flow well, however defining the subcategories with this article will help refine the information into a more structured format

References: --Sgorukan (talk) 15:53, 1 December 2015 (UTC)sgorukan
 * 5 distinct scientific articles are referenced in the article
 * References are cited correctly
 * Overall, very good article!