User talk:Laxguy1955/sandbox

Please give this another revision by 11/29 so it seems less like notes, and don't forget to add your sources. Please email me when the revision is up and I'll give it another look and revise the grade. --- Following up, here are a few specific considerations: Herod's temple wall painting a sub-head? why is the next line not capitalized the way the beginning of a sentence would be? In general, it doesn't look like a Wikipedia entry yet, so you'd also want to add images, links to other entries, etc. That said, I'm optimistic you can revise it a bit and do well with this, so I look forward to the updated version. AMcClanan (talk) 21:57, 26 November 2018 (UTC)
 * In particular, it's not clear what the subheads are that you're using and how they'll be integrated into the existing Dura synagogue entry. Is
 * what are your sources?--include citations throughout as well as source list at the bottom (and stick with peer-reviewed books and articles of course)
 * some of the information might be inaccurate--it's dubious there were English inscriptions, maybe the wording needs to be fine-tuned
 * the section on influence on Christian art might be rethought, too

Peer Review
My suggestions for your work on this article would be to add pictures, check your spelling, and, redo the formatting. In Unit 6, I believe it was, were mosaics from private houses in Dura-Europos which might add a depth to the people of one religion who lived in peace with other religions. Looking forward to your finished work. Crowlady1957 (talk) 01:16, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

Feedback
Hello,

I thought you did a good job discussing your topic in your post. You used clear language to establish your points and gave insightful description/analysis of the temple wall painting. It would be great to see the references for your work and links to other related wiki pages that come up in your discussions. And images! Madeline Michalk (talk) 02:03, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

I think aside from the aforementioned organization and titling, your information has depth and substance. Utilizing the linking of words is also helpful and would greatly add to your work. Skgosselin (talk) 05:51, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

Feedback from Prof McClanan, 12/1
Wow, you've made great progess--thank you. It reads much more like a polished Wikipedia entry, and seems very close to ready to integrate into the existing entry on the S-E syn. Here are a few minor remaining tweaks: Leon Bible (note cap.) Because it was buried so soon after being painting (as you acknowledge), it would be very surprising if we had evidence of these paintings being copied. That said, these paintings had an important influence on we as art historians interpret early Christian art and that should be alluded to. Before this excavation, it was assumed that early Christian art drew exclusively from Greco-Roman visual culture in terms of its artistic influences. The discovery of these paintings made it clear that there was likely a wellspring of now-largely lost Judaic visual culture that also influenced the earlier depictions, esp. of Hebrew Bible iconography. I'm sure you've absorbed all of this in your reading on the topic, and maybe take it as obvious at this point, but it would be good to work some allusion to this aspect of influence into your entry. It might warrant reworking the sub-head title, though, to something like Relationship to Early Christian Art that better encompasses both aspects of the reciprocal relationship. Please touch base with any questions!
 * the section on the lamp is very interesting, and well-written, and the next step is to integrate sources. There are two levels to this. On the one hand, just add a citation or two at the end of the sentences if this interpretation is coming from a secondary source. If, however, this interpretation is based on primary source (maybe Josephus or the Midrash? you'd know better than I at this point in your immersion in the topic), it might be a good supporting detail to allude to the specific text in the body of your entry.
 * For the influence section:

AMcClanan (talk) 18:07, 1 December 2018 (UTC)

From Prof McClanan, 12/3
Quick note: I'm not seeing your U2 Editing an entry (1 pt) so please email if I'm overlooking it, thanks!

AMcClanan (talk) 02:48, 4 December 2018 (UTC)

Feedback from Prof McClanan, 12/7
It doesn't look like prior feedback has been addressed or that your material has been brought into Wikipedia from your sandbox. Please tackle this by Sunday, and email me when it's done so I can reassess.

AMcClanan (talk) 23:00, 7 December 2018 (UTC)