User talk:Layana234/Harpobittacus

Outline Feedback
This is a great start! A bit more detail and identifying which references are associated with each section would help me provide more thorough feedback. However, I can clearly imagine how the final article will look from this outline, and the organization of the outline is straightforward and effective.

Because the current article does not have a lot of general information about scorpionflies, I would seek out a couple more papers that you can reference and write a few sentences in the lead about their habitat, food, and other general information about their ecology.

Because cryptic female choice is a post-copulatory process, the mate competition and mate choice processes that occur before copulation should be discussed in a separate section from the cryptic female choice section. It may help to make a section titled "Pre-copulatory mate competition" where you discuss nuptial gifts, pheromone secretion, and alternative mating tactics. The traits these processes favor, like large body size, should also be in this section. Are male pheromones only secreted after they capture prey to use as nuptial gifts? If so, I would put the nuptial gift information before the pheromone information.

Again, great start! Happy to give more feedback and adjust the grade if you wish to update the outline. Elioeilish (talk) 20:45, 28 February 2023 (UTC)

Fantastic job! This draft is well-written and very interesting. You did a great job of explaining complex topics in a concise manner, and I love that they are topics we discussed in class. The overall structure is great. I really struggled to come up with suggested improvements because this draft is already impressive. I understand if some of these suggestions are not possible due to what information is available about this species. Global Improvements: 1. Explain more about what Harpobittacus is at the beginning of the article. 2. Make nuptial gifts its own section. 3. Explain what the Harpobittacus's prey is. Local Improvements : 1. In the second sentence of the Cryptic Female Choice section, you might want to change “the prey the male is attempting to gift her” to “the prey the male is attempting to give her.” 2. I am a little confused by the sentence “The males engage in a fight, oftentimes with the winner being the larger male who first caught the prey.” Is it only the larger male who catches the prey that usually wins, or is it larger males in general regardless of their catching prey or not? 3. You might want to cut ‘a’ out of “Males that have captured a prey.” — Preceding unsigned comment added by GreenTea283 (talk • contribs) 03:47, 20 March 2023 (UTC)


 * Global: 1) the existing wiki article has an intro sentence explaining that Harpobittacus is a genus of Hangingfly or Scorpionfly so my first paragraph is intended to go right after that. 2) Nuptial gift was given its own section. 3) Included information on prey being a flying insect.
 * Local: 1) Changed the sentence for clarity. 2) added to sentence for clarity. 3) Deleted "a". Layana234 (talk) 17:54, 5 April 2023 (UTC)

I really like your wikipedia page. The mating section was very interesting and you explain the concepts in a concise and clear manner which is vital for people new to either evolutionary biology or to the species. A couple global critiques i have: 1. I would make sure to link concepts that may be unfamiliar to the reader to the wikipedia page for that concept. For example, pheremone secretion could be linked to the page for pheremone. 2. I would recommend adding information on the morphology of the insects if that is possible, and maybe a picture for visual reference. 3. it might be useful to look a little more into how the males fight and what traits this selects for (tie in of male male competition,sexual selection). I really like the organization of your sub-sections and how it describes different aspects of their mating sequentially from pre-copulatory to post-copulatory. The mating section almost progresses chronologically as a story which is awesome. A couple local critiques: 1. Im confused how females selecting the amount of time spent copulating is a form of post-copulatory female choice. I feel like it would be helpful to add another sentence of explanation to the area where you describe how post-copulatory control allows the female to get multiple mates and for their offspring to have more genetic diversity. 2. i dont know how picky wikipedia is with citations. you might need to cite the first sentence of mating subsection with a couple citations. 3. in the male will give the female a taste and then he will prevent her from eating section, i recommend possibly writing that the you add in order to before prolong (or something that conveys that the male performs this action for the purpose of that effect). Overall, great job! Scoobydoo567 (talk) 14:03, 20 March 2023 (UTC)


 * Global: 1) Good point, I linked any concepts that would have a wiki page for them. 2) There is a picture already on the existing Harpobittacus wiki page so I would just be adding to it. 3)There isn't anything online that I could find on how they fight but I did relate it to male–male competition.
 * Local: 1) Reworded those few sentences to clarify the post–copulatory control. 2) Added citations from relevant sources for topic sentence. 3) Added "in order" to the sentence. Layana234 (talk) 20:23, 5 April 2023 (UTC)

Peer Review 3
I enjoyed reading your article! Your second draft is overall really nice. My suggestions are as follows:

In regard to global aspects, I think you did a very good job at keeping your article concise and understandable. I was not overwhelmed with information, yet still provided with enough detail to understand your chosen genus. I also really like how you presented your subsections in the intro sentence for the mating section, and then follow with a subsection on each important aspect. This makes it very clear what to expect which is helpful when reading the subsections. As for improvements, you may want to add a lead section before you get into habitat and development. This would help set the article up, like an intro in an essay. In addition, it seems as though you always only refer to the genus as a whole. You could try to find examples and/or exceptions for specific Harpobittacus species to give readers a more complete analysis.

In regard to local aspects, you cite multiple sources within each of your sections, which shows you were able to synthesize information together from multiple papers to create a nice summary, rather than creating entire sections from singular sources. Also, the way you explained the nuptial gift seemed like it would be understandable to someone unfamiliar with the topic, and I think you worded that section really well. For improvements, three of your citations have messages that say "check date values," so you might want to ensure correct format of those citations. Your in-text citation format is also a bit inconsistent, so you may want to place them either all directly after the period or before, but not either/or. Lastly, the two sentences "The males engage in male–male competition by fighting. Oftentimes with the winner being the larger male, or if they are the same size, the male who first caught the prey." in the pre-copulatory mate competition section could be combined or restructured, as the second sentence is a fragment and shouldn't be its own sentence.

Overall a really nice second draft! Kmbio (talk) 19:18, 6 April 2023 (UTC)

Peer Review 4
I think that overall, this is a well written second draft of your article. In terms of global features of your article, I think that you did a good job organizing the content of your paragraphs. More specifically, I found that the introduction section of mating was helpful as it provided a pathway for navigating the following three mating strategies utilized by this genus. I also found that your habitat and development section included the right amount of information to introduce the genus, while maintaining emphasis on the mating strategies utilized by this genus. In terms of global improvements, there are two areas that might benefit from the addition of a few more details. However, I should note before I mention these improvements, that I understand that your sources might not contain this information making these improvements not possible. One global improvement was in the pre-copulatory mate competition section. More specifically, you state that males engage in combat by fighting with one another. I was wondering if males use the claws at the end of their long legs during this combat. If so, specifying the type of combat used would be helpful. Another global improvement might be in the nuptial gift section. Is it costly for males to find prey which can be offered as nuptial gifts, causing males to be choosier? I think that adding this information might make it easier for readers to understand the impact of nuptial gifts on the male.

In terms of local features, I think that your article reads very well. I also did not notice any spelling or grammatical mistakes. Also, sources are used equally throughout the article, indicating that the information provided in these sources were able to be combined into a solid, well written Wikipedia article. In terms of local improvements, I noticed that the formatting for some of the citations at the end of a sentence differ. For example, some citations are placed before the period, while others are placed after the period. Before publishing the article to Wikipedia, I would format these citations, so that all of them are placed after the period. I also think that the headers “nuptial gift” and “cryptic female choice” should not be hyperlinked. Instead, I would add the hyperlink to this word in the body of each of these sections. Again, I think this is a well written second draft of your article. Well done!

--SEBsmile8 (talk) 00:46, 11 April 2023 (UTC)