User talk:Lenunn/sandbox

Instructor feedback for article draft
Great start overall. Here are a few suggestions for improvement as you work on revisions.

The additions and revisions in the lead section are good. I think you could re-organize a bit by keeping only the first two paragraphs and add the last sentence (The concept of disenfranchised grief is useful...) ﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿in the lead section and move paragraphs 2 and 3 to a later section.

The background section has good information. I think adding a little context about the study of grief in general would be helpful in this section to show how disenfranchised grief is distinct from traditional forms of grief.

The content in the "loss" section makes sense and is informative. I'm wondering if it might be better to have this section describe the concept and process of experiencing loss and then another section describing various contexts of disenfranchised grief. It seems like the pets, adoption, and homelessness paragraphs are exemplar studies of various contexts in which people experience disenfranchised grief. It might helpful to expand on the concept of loss and how it is similar and different to other, more acceptable, forms of grieving and loss and then organize these research examples in a section about the various contexts for disenfranchised grief (which could encompass the relationships section as well).

The relationships section was revised well to have a better organizational flow. The sentence you added to the ex-spouse paragraph needs a citation. In the parasocial interactions paragraph you can be more concise with the writing in the last two sentences. For example, "Parents or other family members often discount a mourning child's feelings thereby disenfranchising the child's grief."

The application section has a good start, but it could be expanded a bit. What are some other ways everyday folks (not practitioners) could be more aware of disenfranchised grief and apply what we know from research?

I think there be a little more detail in the critique section by explaining what the hierarchical model is and how it differs from the binary model. More information about Robson and Walter's perspective would be helpful as well.

Check citations for proper APA style. Jrpederson (talk) 18:00, 16 October 2019 (UTC)