User talk:Lewis Key

Lewis Key This is a young man who, over time, has developed into an ace person.

Born on the 4th November 1987, a baby called Lewis Peter Key was born. This was a special day for his parents, as this was an ace baby. Nothing much happened for three except this childs greatness grew. When he was three, he went to a nursery in Hull City Centre somewhere, but had to be taken out after one day. He was upset at leaving his parents for the first time, and he threw temper tantrums, hitting fellow members and making them cry, and also hitting the staff. He OWNED them all. He moved to another nursery next to Riley collage, and loved it there from day one but had to leave when he was four, because primary school beckoned. In September 1992, Lewis Key started Priory Primary school. He proved to be a stud, getting a girlfriend on the first day, and she was in year 1..... SCORE!! Reception was basically playtime, all the time, and Lewis loved playing with the train set. Year 1 came, and so did heartbrake, as his girlfriend had moved schools, leaving this child the most eligible batchelor in year 1. It wasn't long before he got the prettiest gal in year 1 on his arm, and on-off relationship that lasted until year 3 when this girl left. Year 1 and 2 were fun years, as Lewis enjoyed sowing and also laughed at his teachers black eye in year 2, becuase she slipped on some ice. Year 3 was the year that Lewis met his first foe.... Mr Crowther. He was an awful man, he hit his students hands with rulers and smacked childrens backsides. He was sacked at the end of the year, Lewis had won without doing a thing, except cry when Mr Crowther smacked his botton on the way back from a practice performance of the school christmas carol singing at the local church. Year 4 came along and Lewis OWNED everyone at 'bang bang,' a game developed by the substitute teacher Mr May. He also OWNED everyone at it in year 6 when his teacher knicked this game and plyed it in her classes. Year 5 came along with Mrs Drake, she was probably the best teacher at Primary School and was a MILF. Year 6 came, and this year was 'The Year of Key.' Not only did the best girls fancy him, he misbehaved, bust someones nose and gave them a black eye, and got expelled for the last day of Primary School, because he kicked shit out of a year 5. They let him back though because he is ace, and even though the full year said they were going to bang him, they pussied out and did bugger all!! The noobs!! Then came High School, Cottingham High School. Nothing happened in year 7, it was shit. Buyt at the end of year 7, Lewis got fat, and this was to everyones amazement when he came back in year 8. Year 8 and 9 were the years Lewis was at his best in the classroom. Grades?? pah, course not, he was a rebel! Not on the scale of a couple of others, but people admired him and he made them laugh alot, unless the people where boring buggers and were sensible. Year 10 and 11 came along and Lewis had calmed down, and despite the odd outburst of misbehavior, and his long rivalry with Mr MacMillan not stopping but getting more heated, Lewis ended up trying fairly hard and got good grades. Sixth form was next, but Lewis had changed!! He lost 2 1/2 stone in 2 months and was skinny again. He also realised he wasn't a very likeable person, and changed himself over the 6 weeks holidays to become even acer!! Year 12 was full of embarrassing moments for Lewis, but he pulled through and ended the year all ace obviously. He didn'g get the best grades, but one exam was resitted this year in year 13, and his grade will go up obviously. Year 13 has been boring and there isn't anything to write. Lewis hasn't regained his stud like image of Primary school, but he is just realised as an ace person. He goes to rugby alot since 2002, about year 9 time and goes to every match, dropping in on pubs along the way. Want to know about this great man?? Ask him then!! You all know who he is because he is bloody ace!!

FIN!!

Thank you to Mr Percy Sullivan for this biopic of this ace mans life.