User talk:LijiaH/newsandbox

1 . First, what does the article-draft do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way? Everything seems extremely clear and stayed on track.

2. Are there sections in the article that seem unnecessary? Is anything off-topic? Everything stayed on the exact topic of granular bars and all the positive aspects it brings to the table.

3. Does the article focus too much on negative or positive information? Mainly the article focuses on positive information only.

4. Does the article draw conclusions or try to convince the reader to accept one particular point of view? Are most statements in the article connected to a reliable source, such as textbooks and journal articles? Or do they rely on blogs or self-published authors? The article does not draw to conclusions or convince me to one point of view however more negative ideas could be mentioned.

5. Are there any changes you would suggest the author apply to the article? Why? Adding more negative views such as preservatives and bad sugars and oils added for flavor. Maybe find a reliable source on all the negative aspects and/or compare better granular bars such as kind bars with worse ones such as nature valley and how they effect us differently.

6. Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know! no

7. ~Amelia D'Andrea~

thank you for the contribution on my article edit. I will try to include more edits that talk about all perspectives so the article can remain neutral. LijiaH (talk) 16:50, 4 November 2019 (UTC)lijia