User talk:Lilurkel44/We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity

General info Whose work are you reviewing?

Lilurkel44

Link to draft you're reviewinghttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User Lilurkel44/We_Real_Cool%3A_Black_Men_and_Masculinity?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template Link to the current version of the article (if it exists) We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity Evaluate the drafted changes

-Very to the point, seems to only be 3 sections, which could take some work

-There seems to be some grammar and formatting errors.

-The summary seems to be a word vomit, with little to no organization regarding the flow of the summary itself. I get lost very easily navigating the summary and I feel like some subheadings could do wonders for where and how to look.

-Reception seems to be very skinny, as this is a place that could take some heavy bulk work! I am sure there many avenues that you can traverse down to get different elements and perspectives from this work's reception and reputation

-In the "See Also", there is a link to Hegemonic masculinity. Instead of making it a "See Also" feature, you could take that term and immediately

-Being captain obvious, the top reads that the article "may rely excessively on sources too closely associated with the subject." It reads that this may hurt it's verifiability and neutrality, so that's something to look out for.

Mollie's Review
The original article is essentially a chapter-by-chapter breakdown to the point of resembling a cliffs notes of the book. There are excessive quotations, the sources are limited almost exclusively to the book the article is about (plus one book review) and there are many citations/sources missing. There is a lot to be expanded upon- the background of the novel, the themes, the cultural influence, etc. I'm adding a link to an article about a book which was done in a well-rounded way:

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings CardamomEnthusiast (talk) 20:08, 29 September 2022 (UTC)

Peer review feedback
Lead:

The lead does highlight the the article but the article only consists of the summery of the book. So for the lead to be improved more would have to be added to the article.

Content:

Even though the article is a summary of the book I think some sections could be added to help add more meaning to the article. Like a separate section about the effects that black mens masculinity plays when raising children and how that impacts them. It could create a cycle or break those stereotypes. That could be interesting to see.

Tone:

The Tone sounds informative and cohesive.

Sources:

There isn't very many sources and of the few that are there is missing information or empty items in the sources themselves.

organization:

Images/ Media

Once more sections are added pictures will be useful depending on the sections. The only picture there is the cover of the book. YSL123 (talk) 02:51, 3 October 2022 (UTC)

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * We Real Cool: Black Men and Masculinity Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The Leads of this page need to be expanded upon. The organization for what is there is okay. The punctuation and spelling is not good. The main part of this article looks to be a book review going through each poem. What about each poem being a subsection and with a few more references. Also talking more about Bell Hooks would be good. Images would be super helpful of her and of the book's covers. The tone and balance I think would improve with overall organization improvement. Tge3hn (talk) 02:14, 4 October 2022 (UTC)