User talk:Limur34/sandbox

Three edits is not a lot. You have to pick up the pace--RJBazell (talk) 16:46, 25 October 2018 (UTC)

It looks like you're still planning your article, so I don't think I can say much about the progress you've made so far. There are a few sentences in the original article that need to be cited. The first sentence needs to be edited for clarity - there is a link up there that doesn't look like it belongs. There is a mention of MSM in the lead. It would be interesting to look into how MSM are not a target group for prevention efforts or campaigns in Kenya. They also have antisodomy laws - if you can find literature exploring this environment with regard to hIV prevalence, I think you could make up a whole section on the social issues and HIV in the country. The sources need to be dated, and I think that you can find more recent data on government initiatives and international organizations working on AIDS in the country. I think that there are papers indicating prevalence by region, a graphic could depict this very succinctly. It would be a good idea to add a section on the economic implications of HIV in the country - there has been a lot of research on it. I'd really like to read what you come up with later - I think I'll be able to give better feedback then.

Ila22med (talk) 19:40, 26 October 2018 (UTC)

Mari's peer review
Hello, Great work on your article! I liked that you structured your article as a bulleted list, it made it easy to see all the facts and tables (sometimes when there are too many numbers/statistics in paragraph form, it's easy to get lost/confused in the structure). My only reservation is that your lead is a little long/specific. It was well written, but I think some of the information might be better in a new section so your lead is more like a general summary of the biggest points. Keep up the great work! --Maca1093 (talk) 21:01, 26 October 2018 (UTC)MC

Mitchell's peer review
This article has very good content!! The sections do a very good job at covering the social responses and implications of the outbreak.

The Mechanisms of Resistance Heading seems to be a little broad for what's under it; I think you could easily split it into multiple sections with the information (especially causes of resistance).

Elaborate more in your subheadings - they're a little vague as is

Elaborate more on your response section.

Mitchell.harpenau (talk) 18:31, 30 October 2018 (UTC)