User talk:Ljones110/sandbox

Instructor feedback for article draft
Good start overall. Here are few suggestions for improvements as you work to revise.

I think the lead section offers a nice introduction to this phenomenon. The first sentence seems a bit wordy to me and could be more precise and concise. Is there a quote in the second sentence? If so, it needs to be cited properly. Also, there are no sources cited in the first paragraph and I would think that you got some of this information from somewhere. I'm a little confused by who the individual is and who the persona is. When you use terms such as "opposite end of the relationship" it is difficult to follow if you are talking about the parasocial relationship holder or the target (media figure, celebrity, etc). I'm not sure if "believe that they share empathy" is the appropriate word here.

The background section has some good information, but I think you can elaborate in terms of more information surrounding the creation of the theory by Horton and Wohl. Why was this something worth studying at the time? What technological advances prompted them to think about these types of interactions and relationships? Did it have anything to do with the advent of television? I think there can be more explanation about the differences between parasocial interactions and parasocial relationships.

The motives section uses a nice summary of a research study to describe some of the possible motives for developing a PSR. The second sentence needs a source for the loneliness claim. Also, developing PSRs out of loneliness does not seem like a theory to me, but an explanation instead. If there is a theory of PSR development that bases the development in loneliness then that's fine, but you would need to cite that theory specifically. The parasocial interaction scale needs much more depth including information about who developed it, what it measures, and how it has been used. The content in this section seems a little tangential here. The "absorption addiction" section could benefit from a description of what the absorption addition model is right at the beginning. Is this model only applied to parasocial relationships or is it applied to other phenomenon as well? Also, is it "addition" or "addiction"? It is used both ways. The summary of the stages makes sense and is explained well.

I think adding content to the gratification theory and critiques section will be helpful. Remember to use proper APA style throughout which includes using a (Author, year, page number ﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿) for direct quotes and accurate APA style in the references section. Make sure to use peer-reviewed scholarly sources only. The "find a psychologist" website should not be used as a reliable source. Also, make sure to cite your sources throughout the article as you use them. Nothing should appear in the references section if it wasn't used above in the content sections.