User talk:Llee43/sandbox

Mental Health
Anxiety is one of the most talked about mental illnesses that many idols open up about. K-pop idols, such as Park Kyung of Block B, has talked about idol hardships with anxiety, stating, “you start living your life with anxiety right after debut.” Another example of an idol who has opened up about their relationship with anxiety is BTS’s Suga. In his interview with Naver, Suga stated, “Anxiety and loneliness seem to be with me for life. I put a lot of meaning on how I would work it out, but it seems like I have to study it for my entire life.” Anxiety has affected some idols due to the uncertainty and pressures of their job as an entertainer.

Not only is anxiety one of the biggest mental illness with K-pop idols, depression is gaining a lot of limelight as well. While many idols have opened up about their struggle with depression, some idols have only hinted their problems. One of the biggest and most recent controversies involved SHINee’s Jonghyun. Kim Jonghyun was open and public about his depression. He even said in a 2017 interview with Esquire, “I’m fundamentally a pessimistic person. Ever since I was little I showed a lot of depressive feelings, and it’s the same in the present.” However, his comments were brushed off by the public and on December 18th of 2017, he committed suicide through carbon monoxide poisoning. The first line of his suicide note was about his battle with depression, “I am damaged from the inside. The depression that has been slowly eating away at me has completely swallowed me, and I couldn’t win over it.” Only 23% of Koreans with depression seek professional help compared to 44% in other developed countries.

Jonghyun's suicide had a huge impact on fellow K-pop idols and fans. However, Jonghyun is not the first idol to have committed suicide. One of the first k-pop idol to have committed suicide is Charles Park, also known as Seo Ji Won. Although nobody knows the reason for his suicide, he mentioned that the fame and glory after his first album became too much for him. He was also afraid that his second album might not meet expectations. The pressure of the K-pop industry became too much to handle and he passed away at the age of 19. The suicide rate in South Korea continues to be one of the highest among all Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) nations. It should be noted that 75.3% of those who have attempted suicide have one or more forms of mental illness.

Though mental illness in South Korea has been an increasing problem, awareness has also been on the rise. The Shining Road series, a free concert that was held in the spring of 2018, was a way for Korean celebrities and K-pop idols to use their platform to raise awareness about mental illness. All proceeds that were raised went toward youth suicide prevention organizations.

Hkim856 (talk) 15:07, 19 October 2018 (UTC) This is an important contribution. Just three quick comments: 1) where do you see your article being placed? Under "Criticism and Controversies"? If so, you might want to create a new sub-section on this topic. 2) I've noticed that your article is quite well-sourced, but can't find any citations. 3) the flow of the last paragraph is quite awkward. You could begin your draft with the context (SK's suicide rate) first and provide Seo JiWon's example before the recent cases?

As Prof Kim said, adding sources would be good. The first paragraph is sounding like opinion, so I would just start with facts (how many stars have committed suicide? what media is covering the issue?) You could also talk about the response of K-Pop fans in South Korea and outside of South Korea, and how those reactions are different.Abollman2 (talk) 05:45, 22 October 2018 (UTC)

Hkim856 (talk) 18:14, 30 October 2018 (UTC) Any updates?

Rnforman12 (talk) 17:45, 4 November 2018 (UTC) As both other commenters have said, you should incorporate citations into your piece. They would increase the validity of your facts and offer readers a place to learn more. Also the first two sentences contain phrases like "it is no surprise" which adds an element of your personal evaluation of the information, which shouldn't really be done on wikipedia. I really like your use of personal statements from some of the popular idols; they add authenticity and intimacy to an otherwise pretty cold and depressing topic.