User talk:Lorenaramirezl/sandbox

Comment by Charles: I think this is a very well written wikipedia page, as it includes 4 different sources, meaning the information is thorough and exact. I really enjoyed understanding about how internet celebrities, that are on youtube, make money. The only thing I would maybe include into this page, is how other platform internet celebrities (Instagram etc) make their money.

Looking great! However, I think since you are using Chiara Ferragni's picture on the side for an example, you can also include her in the content and expand more on that.Koko413 (talk) 15:55, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

The sentence structure is very strong and it is clear that you have done thorough research as you have many different sources. I also like the use of internal links. I think you definitely get your point across and I like the examples that you have provided. However, I think in the sandbox you should say whether this is a subtopic or the main topic of your group's page. Isabelleshegog (talk) 15:57, 3 April 2019 (UTC)Isabelle

I really liked the topic that you chose. First of all, you didn't indicate any section/subsection where your paragraph will be included. I think that you used a good amount of citations but some of the content needs to be explained more. I liked the way that you gave examples of Youtubers accounts and talks about Adsense. Maybe you should expand more this idea of how do they make money and explain better those Requirments that Youtube implement. One last thing, there is one time that you use the word Youtubers" as "you tubers".Rafamatalon1234 (talk) 16:12, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

I really like your page because it is very detailed and I can tell that you have a lot of research as well as unique sources. The passage itself is very strong, however, one suggestion I have is including a few more hyperlinks (for example for "Youtube", "endorsements", and a few more.) Otherwise, good job and very interesting topic! Fariha34 (talk) 16:12, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

When you say that they make money in various ways at the beginning of the article, I think you should specify or give examples. It feels like a loose end in the article.SocksOfDeath (talk) 16:15, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

This is a well written article. I liked the image you chose to insert. I also liked how you used internal links. You may benefit from adding an example of another online celebrity on a different platform. One note: "Youtube" is capitalized as it is a proper noun. Keep up the the good work! Ashleydavidsongwu (talk) 16:15, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Good job! I like your topic on the internet celebrity. Maybe you can add more information on how do internet celebrities work with different brands in different ways - sponsored or not. ChristalCao (talk) 16:18, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

You have great information and i like how you tagged some wikipedia pages. I think you could add some more examples as there are so many out there just to show the wide impact of this topic. I also like the image you inserted as it is very relevant to the topic — Preceding unsigned comment added by Wohlina (talk • contribs) 16:25, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Generally great information! I like the fact you illustrate your topic. It is perfect to using Youtubers to describe your topic, and this could make readers feel familiar. Samuelzhao000005 (talk) 16:27, 3 April 2019 (UTC)Samuelzhao000005

Great use of citations. It's great to see so many outside sources being used in a fairly short amount of writing. It goes to show that your article is reliable, valid, and accurate. I would suggest using more hyperlinks within your article, such as "YouTube" and "PewDiePie". Otherwise, a job well done, and I look forward to seeing how this article progresses! Jaredgoz (talk) 16:30, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Good job! Make sure you minimize use of passive voice; for example your third sentence could put "celebrities" first (ie "celebrities give credibility to a certain product, helping market it" or something like that). You are missing an "and" in your 6th sentence. Finally, maybe you could give a include bit more detail or an example about the types of ads or merchandise that celebrities sell/promote. Over all, keep it up! :) Isamouse79 (talk) 18:13, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Looks good! Maybe you can add some more links? Like for Youtube and Instagram? Sydneycurrie5 (talk) 20:31, 7 April 2019 (UTC)