User talk:Lori Costello

Talkback
Thanks, for your input. You have made some good points. I will keep working on it till I get it right! Lori Bozenbury

Is this useful?
Is this useful?

Thanks, it is useful!

ADMS page ready to go?
Hi all, I think that my page is ready to go "live", if you could take a look and let me know if you see any issues that would be great. Also, I have tried to search out the instructions in simple English on how to move the page but I can't figure it out. I know I should have used a "subpage", but any guidance on what I should do now? Thanks Lori Costello (talk) 14:01, 20 September 2010 (UTC)


 * At this point, the article merely presents or announces the existence of the simulator. The article is promotional in content, offering no indication of notability. Just because a company, product, or simulator exists, doesn't mean that it is notable and appropriate for an encyclopedic article. The lede paragraph needs to present the notability of the subject, while summarizing the article overall. This issue needs to be addressed prior to moving to the mainspace. Otherwise, it would likely be deleted due to a lack of notability. Cindamuse (talk) 08:41, 21 September 2010 (UTC)


 * Hi Cindamuse, thank you for taking the time to review my article and offer feedback. I truly felt that the references I supplied, including research papers from disinterested parties, and magazine and news articles met the notability criteria. Do you think that this is a refernce issue or more the style of writing I am using, I know I tend to be a bit fluffy and I will review the article for that. Thanks Lori Costello (talk) 12:51, 21 September 2010 (UTC) 12:08, 21 September 2010 (UTC)

As an example, you have written in your article "It has been found that when trainees are able to participate, both verbally and physically in a training exercise, retention is 90%, in great contrast to a 10% retention rate of what they hear, and 50% retention rate of what they see and hear" You have referred this source to a pdf article written by Adams Shwan (3rd one). However, if you open the pdf and read this article, the paragraph before Conclusion says "According to Lack and Kahler, a learner remembers 90 percent of what is taught if given the opportunity to participate through demonstration (both physical and verbal)." Can you get hold of this article written by Lack, Kahler et al...? This would be called a back reference (the pdf has got further references) which is "Lack, R.W. and K. Kahler. Essentials of Safety and Health Management. Boca Raton, FL: CRC Press Inc., 1996." It is always better to write a thoroughly researched article for wikipedia users, else, it would lead to claims like 'My toothpaste is 100% germ free with a lot of *,# symbols'! :-) Note to you Trust me!...you are an amazing writer....If you are an author of any book, do send me a copy of the same. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Knowourba (talk • contribs) 16:40, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Comment: Knowourba (talk) 16:43, 21 September 2010 (UTC) Hi Lori, As suggested by other respected Wikipedia authors, I agree with them that this article requires re-writing on a neutral note. Tip 1: "Neutral" - Please go through articles on any topic in the health care sector ( because the health care sector uses references from clinical trials, which is in sync, with what you are trying to write) to get a sense of their neutral tone. Tip 2: "References" - Please use statistics from properly referenced sources.


 * Your request for feedback was in the wrong place; it was on the main WP:FEED page, instead of the page for a single day - so I moved it; it's now on Requests for feedback/2010 October 13 - and you can see the feedback there. Cheers,  Chzz  ► 13:21, 13 October 2010 (UTC)