User talk:Luggermum

Your submission at Articles for creation: Dinah Jefferies - Author (July 2)
 Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Tokyogirl79 was:

Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.


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Tokyogirl79 (｡◕‿◕｡)  09:10, 2 July 2015 (UTC)

Promotional content in an article
I ended up declining the article because it was very, very promotional in tone. It contained a lot of WP:PEACOCK phrasing like "always maintaining a love of", which comes across as unambigously promotional. These types of buzzword type phrases are frequently used by marketing people to play up a person, which also gave off the extremely strong impression that you are a marketing person or someone that was otherwise hired to write the article. If you were hired you can still edit, but you will need to read over the WP:COI guidelines very, very closely, make sure that you disclose this on your userpage, and you will need to be more careful with future articles. Given the tone it seems very unlikely that you aren't, although it's possible. Just be aware that even if you aren't, continually writing in a promotional tone will give off the impression that you are here to promote. In any case, the main reason I'm mentioning this is because in many cases COI editors are asked to write along specific guidelines and many are so used to writing in a promotional tone that they don't even notice it. I remember interacting with one editor who wrote and re-wrote their article but kept missing some key buzzwords. In the end they had to be pointed out to him.

You also included a lot of links in the EL section, which came across as a little spammy. Generally speaking, there should only be one link to the author's website. Anything other than that is usually overkill, especially since most of those links should already be in her official website. Even if they aren't there's really no reason to link to every place that has a page for her.

In the end I had to go through and essentially re-write the article from scratch in order to remove the promotional overtones. I also had to remove quite a few sources, many of which were WP:PRIMARY (meaning they were written by the author or someone/something associated with her). (Primary sources can't show notability.) Other sources I removed were otherwise unusable since they were pretty much self-published sources (WP:SPS are any sources written in a place that undergoes little to no verifiable editorial oversight), so in the end I was pretty much left with only three sources. Those weren't enough in and of themselves to show notability, so I had to find other sources to help show notability. In the end I was actually pretty tempted to just cut/paste my copy to the mainspace, but I did take information from your template so I ended up resubmitting and accepting the article.

The reason why I'm mentioning this is that most editors will be unlikely to do this. Most will just decline the article and if it's in the mainspace, they'll just nominate it for speedy deletion as promotion. That's why you've got to be very, very careful with how you write - especially if you are an editor with a conflict of interest for the reasons listed above. Tokyogirl79 (｡◕‿◕｡)  10:05, 2 July 2015 (UTC)

Your submission at Articles for creation: Dinah Jefferies has been accepted
 Dinah Jefferies, which you submitted to Articles for creation, has been created. The article has been assessed as Start-Class, which is recorded on the article's talk page. You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article. You are more than welcome to continue making quality contributions to Wikipedia. . Thank you for helping improve Wikipedia! Tokyogirl79 (｡◕‿◕｡)  10:05, 2 July 2015 (UTC)
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