User talk:MAHONECI/sandbox

Minor change
Hi, MAHONECI. I made a minor change to your work in this edit. Hope you don't mind! '''-- [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Riley_Huntley/You_missed! Cheers, ] Ri l ey   ''' 21:09, 5 March 2013 (UTC)

Copying from existing article
Hi, Mike! I just wanted to suggest you start with the text from the existing Aurora, NV article, which it looks like you're already doing, but you may want to copy the wiki-markup over (especially so you don't lose those references). Instead of copying from the article, you can hit edit on the existing article and copy that to paste into your sandbox. Might help out when you're expanding those existing sections! Good luck, JMathewson (WMF) (talk) 20:56, 19 March 2013 (UTC)

Critique
I think that this is where we are supposed to post the critique.

Hi Mike,

Rating: 4 out of 5

Overall you did a pretty solid job on your article; in general it was well written and organized. I think that the article accomplished its main goal of describing the history of the town of Aurora. The whole narrative of the town, from its foundation, rise to prominence, and abandonment, was accounted for in the text. The sources seemed to be strong and legitimate and I think that they provide enough information for the article to have a solid foundation. The part about the dilemma about deciding which state the town belonged to and how they had different representatives was particularly interesting to me. I think most of the major work is done, and that you just have a few things to edit before going live

In terms of recommendations for what to change there are a few things I would do. First off there are some minor proofreading edits to the page which I will try to go ahead and change. (in case something goes wrong I will list them: adding an “s” to brick in the first section, changing “sit” to “site.” at end of first section, adding “it” to the sentence “at one point had a population… in second section, combining the final two sentences.)

Although I like the organizational structure for the most part, I felt that some parts seemed to jump back and forth in time from section to section. Perhaps by shifting some of the information around to make it more chronological would help fix this. For example, I think the info on the new 4WD developments fits better in the last paragraph than the beginning. Also I thought that some of the info from the “Rise” section could go before some of the “history” section. If you shifted some of the info around the article it would flow more smoothly and logically.

The other thing I recommend doing is providing a little more background on some of the places and actions that occur. At some points you would say a specific name and not really explain clearly what it was. For example you mentioned that jobs picked up from the Wild West Vein without really explaining what it was. Just throwing in a brief description would help clarify it.

Apart from those things the only other suggestions I have is trying to find some images of the town to put in the article, a map would be especially helpful to see where its located.

Again I think you article is well on the way to becoming a solid piece of research and with a few edits and changes you should be all set. If you have any questions or want anything clarified feel free to contact me.

Chris Cataldo. Cataldoc (talk) 02:08, 27 March 2013 (UTC)