User talk:MTR34/sandbox

Nicole draft feedback
Hi, Megan! You have some good additions to key sections of this article here. Some pieces that stand out as strong points to me in this current draft are:
 * updated United States prison information (more recent than 2010!)
 * expanded risks and solutions lists
 * strong organization and where you've chosen to go into more detail vs. simple listing makes sense

Some things to think about as you continue your work on this article:
 * there are not currently any sources connected to the work you've done in this article draft or listed at the bottom of the page. Every statement presented as fact needs at least one source connected to it supporting that statement, and each of those sources should be compiled in the reflist at the end of the article. This is the single most critical thing you can do to improve this moving into the next draft.
 * for the section on prison history, I'm curious how you're defining "prison system" and why earlier forms of incarceration (such as the forms of imprisonment the Romans used, although I doubt they were the first). This section may also be somewhat outside the scope of this article, as there is a robust entry for the history of prisons in the broader "Prison" article on Wikipedia...this might be a good one for external linking
 * if you are wanting to update the definition currently in the lead section of the article, you will want to do so in your own words rather than with a quote
 * I see in the talk page and the banner on the main article page that it might be useful to add sections on prison overcrowding in countries other than the United States. If you are looking for ways to further expand this article while staying within its intended scope, this might be a good direction to consider.

I hope these notes are helpful, and I look forward to seeing the final version of this! Nicoleccc (talk) 06:34, 13 February 2019 (UTC)

Article Selection
Hi Megan,

I loved reading about this topic as my mom and step dad retired from the federal prison! It was way past due, I thought that it had good relevant information and how it is becoming an issue. The section about "causes" I feel is spot on but feel like it is pretty important and could be expanded on? Just because you made some really good points about it.

I thought that all of the statistics you included were awesome relevant information. Which also made me feel that it was very unbiased and you were just stating facts. I also thought that the solutions that you included were great neutral information to consider. Maybe you could look into the programs within the prison system that "attempt" to rehabilitate the inmates? Like some of the treatment options, trade school programs, and GED certificates? Anyways great job I'm looking forward to reading it again!Chase503 (talk) 20:40, 13 February 2019 (UTC)

Prison Overcrowding: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prison_overcrowding This article is way past due to be updated, the statistics involving annual prisoners incarcerated are from 2010. What draws me to this article is I do have to dig for updated statistics on the current topic. In the section "Causes" it informs the reader "Studies have shown..." What studies? Who conducted these studies? When were the studies released? The solution section seems slightly opinionated and non-neutral. Also, who is deciding these "solutions" to help with overcrowding? Who gets to make these decisions? There is a lot of room for new statistics and citation use.

Samantha's Peer Review
Some things You did Well: I thought that your topic was super interesting and you did a really good job of covering all of the different sections of information. Your way of writing was really clear and easy to read which made the article much more interesting and informative. I like that you included a list of Causes and Solutions and that you gave some prison history. I thought that you did a good job of staying neutral throughout your article and stating facts and statistics. I also thought you did a good job of introducing those statistics in a way that was easy to understand.

Some things to improve on: One thing that I would add to your article is to expand on a definition of Prison overcrowding in your first paragraph rather than just jumping right into the history. I think that it would also make sense to change the order of your sections so that causes and solutions are right next to each other. I think that you could also change the title of the section called "United States" to something like "Prison Overcrowding in the United States."

This made me realize that I should add titles to my sections and organize my article better because I liked how organized yours was. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Innes.samantha (talk • contribs) 23:38, 13 February 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review -By Alexis Mckinney
Hi Megan! I chose to review your article first because the topic interested me at first glance! I felt that overall, your article edit was very informative, and there were many interesting facts listed in it. The original article definitely had room to grow, there was a lot going on and seemed to be a bit of an issue with the flow of the article. There were also outdated facts, and not enough diversity in the information shared (different countries other than the U.S.). You did a good job with the organization and headings of the article. Every heading had information below that directly related to it's title. Throwing in different countries' statistics was also a good touch, as it added a bit of information to compare to. Some things I think you could work on with this article would be remaining factual and making sure not to show any positive or negative views on the topic. I think with this topic, it is hard to remain completely unbiased in an article because prison overcrowding is a negative thing, and the facts end up showing this negative affect. For the most part, the article showed an unbiased point of view, but some of the headings seemed to promote a more biased approach. I feel that the "solutions" paragraph is on the edge of biased, nearing picking sides. How do you find a solution, without first finding a problem? Maybe a different heading would do the trick? Also, I would put more info directly under the definition of the article, maybe just adding to the definition in your own words. I think that creating that clear definition of what the article is really about, and then going into the "prison history" section would flow really well! Overall, I thought this was a great article draft! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Mckinneylexim (talk • contribs) 05:49, 14 February 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review
From the first look of your article is seems to look organized and straight to the point. By reading the first paragraph I know exactly what this article will be about. I like the clearly bolded bullet point of what each section will be about. I would maybe think about adding in other countries that have overcrowded prisons. That would be an interesting topic. Your sections are organized well. That makes it easy to navigate. All of your references took me exactly where you wanted them too. So far good job!Calhoun92 (talk) 06:48, 14 February 2019 (UTC)