User talk:Macygalante/Disability in North Korea

Hmm - I'm not seeing anything in your sandbox draft, which is concerning. By the beginning of class on Tuesday, you'll need to have at least an outline with associated references. Matthall.research (talk) 20:49, 3 October 2021 (UTC)

What does the article do well?

 * It seems relatively comprehensive and will cover a lot of ground
 * Appears to be made up of up to date information (considering how little we know about North Korea, that is)
 * Proposed headings/main topics make sense to me

What changes would I suggest? Why?

 * I would recommend going in a different order than what is present on the outline. Perhaps: intro > sign language > schools > Robert Grund > jobs > soccer. I think going in that order makes sense to me because each subsequent theme builds off of the previous. For instance, explaining the sign language is a key part of North Korean Deaf culture, of course, and then how they are educated in schools would require some info on that sign language and its prevalence; Robert Grund seems to be an important figure that comes in after schools are introduced because of his role in the schools (and then you can get into more info on him broadly speaking); I would have jobs towards the end because schooling and how Deaf people go about in society, such as in school, would affect their job prospects. (I hope I explained this well).
 * I would also recommend adding a references list especially after you begin the writing process to avoid plagiarism and to allow anyone reading it to see where you got your information.
 * Lastly, I think the part in the intro where you say, "In most 'Western' media, North Korea is described as a dark and dismal place" is too opinionated and not particularly neutral as would be appropriate for Wikipedia, even if a lot of people would share that opinion.

What's the most important thing the author could do?

 * I think what's most important right now is, of course, getting some writing in there and moving past the outline. I think what's structured there so far seems adequate and it looks like you have a clear idea of where you want to go. Getting started is the hardest part but once you get going it'll write itself!

What can I apply to my own article?

 * I like that you will be including information on an all Deaf soccer team in Korea. I will now be considering adding some more "fun" things to my article, as right now I have education, medicine, and Auslan as my main topics. I'll probably do some research into what social outlets there are for deaf Australians, maybe even sports teams.

Tuj21794 (talk) 22:08, 7 October 2021 (UTC)