User talk:Madeleinerberry

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Once again, welcome! Michael Barera (talk) 17:10, 11 June 2021 (UTC)

My comments on your draft of Wayward Son
As I promised, I have read and copyedited the Wayward Son draft in your userspace. I wanted to also provide comments and suggestions, which I'm listing here:


 * The introduction section ("lede") could probably be a bit less specific. I think that the references to "their Watford days" and the "Humdrum", without context, are in particular not useful here and perhaps should be cut. (I presume Watford refers to the English city, so if that is correct, maybe keep that in and link it to the Wikipedia article on Watford? Or does it refer to a university?)
 * The last clause of the last sentence in the lede ("in which the Simon Snow characters are fictional books in series, Cath, the main character of the novel, writes fanfiction for") was confusing to me. I think it needs to be written to be more clear, and also probably separated into a separate sentence (I think that "The novel is the second book in the Simon Snow trilogy, which is a spinoff of the novel Fangirl" would be a great standalone sentence). However, I'm not sure I grasp the meaning well enough to modify this sentence without altering your original intention.
 * I'm not sure exactly what "trying to magick Shepard stupid" means. I think it needs to be revised for additional clarity, but I didn't make an edit because I'm unsure of the meaning.
 * I'm not sure what "still has his wings" means in the character description for Simon.

I hope that this is helpful. You might want to think about requesting a copyedit of this article from WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors. I think it would be useful to get another pair of eyes on this article, especially if you can get a reviewer who is more experienced with writing about novels than I am. I think that you can only nominate the article for review here after you move it to the mainspace.

Good work on this article! I certainly enjoyed reading it. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help with it.

Finally, I think we should nominate this article for Did You Know (DYK) once you are happy with it, but because I have edited it extensively now I am not able to be the DYK reviewer for you. However, I'd be happy to be a co-nominator with you if you'd like me to. Michael Barera (talk) 04:52, 12 August 2021 (UTC)

DYK for Wayward Son (novel)
Cwmhiraeth (talk) 00:04, 14 September 2021 (UTC)


 * Congratulations, ! Michael Barera (talk) 03:15, 16 September 2021 (UTC)