User talk:Magzags/sandbox

Your wikipedia page is well written overall. In general, adding in text citations and hyperlinking any relevant terms or people to other Wikipedia articles would improve upon the writing. Also, adding headings will make it easier to understand the organization and purpose of the paragraphs. When referring to Donald McQuarrie, only use his last name. In the second paragraph, you use some direct quotations which should be paraphrased. The explanation of his paper was very well written otherwise! Some of the grammar needs to be edited in the second paragraph, such as “McQuarrie discusses the numerical methods needed to mathematically model the scenario…” instead of “mathematically modeling.” The last statement about “showing his commitment to bettering academia” may be bordering on opinion, but other than that sentence you do a good job of not editorializing.