User talk:Mahmoua4/sandbox

Hi! You have some good ideas for expanding these articles. Pick one that looks like it needs the most work and start working on references. You need to find enough primary literature to contribute substantially to the content of the article. Lethornton (talk) 22:27, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

It looks like you have found some useful sources, but there is no structure to how you want to use them to improve the perennial plant article. It is important to get your citations in as links so that you can write what you want to say without the citations in the way. Keep working on arranging your material and remember to add links to other articles if there connections to what you are saying. Lethornton (talk) 00:43, 17 March 2018 (UTC)

Hi Ahmed, I like the article you've written. I didn't know exactly how Dr. Thornton wanted us to put comments in the talk page, so I made a Google Doc with specifics of my comments, which I will summarize below. I've also emailed you and cc'ed Dr. Thornton with the Google Doc where I added my comments, just in case.

Organization: I like the organization of the article. It goes from talking about propagation in broad strokes and narrows it down to specific methods of propagation. I don't think there is really any other way you could've organized it. In the section that you provide examples of organisms that use the described method of propagation, instead of writing "examples: X, Y, and Z", just write it out into a full sentence - "Examples of common plants that use rhizomes is the lily, the ginger plant, and the iris." with hyperlinks on each plant name to link it to its own page. That, and some formatting could make the article look very clean and professional.

Spelling: No spelling errors found!

Grammar: Some places had grammatical issues, nothing major but I just edited it to make the sentence flow better. For example, the section before you talk about the different methods of propagation, you wrote, "commercially, it saves commercial farmers", where the word "commercial" has been overused - you used it a few other times in the beginning of the section as well. Another piece of redundancy I found if when you said "They serve as protein and starch storage units serving as a nutrient source for newly developed plants." in the rhizome section. A different word could be put in place or the sentence could be restructured to make it less redundant.

Tone: The tone is overall professional, except for a few spots here and there. For example, in your lead, you say "in ways that nature can't" - the contraction and the general tone of the sentence make it seem "fake" or like an infomercial, if that makes sense. I would definitely reduce the use of contractions in the article, and word everything like you would a scientific paper - clear and professionally, and in a way that leaves no doubt in the readers' mind that you know about vegetative propagation in and out.

Content: The content is good, for this assignment. The article feels a little short in that it doesn't cover as much as it could, but you are only one person, which is understandable. Perhaps flesh out a paragraph about the history of propagation in agriculture, some theories as to why propagation evolved in plants, etc. Also - I know you have all your sources in your talk page but I didn't see any in-text citations, which are very important to the credibility of your article. Once those are added in, your article will look fine. Otherwise, great! Madhavpatel516 (talk) 03:21, 27 March 2018 (UTC) Madhav Patel

Instructor comments: You have found some useful additions for the vegetative reproduction page. It is not clear from what I see on your sandbox as to how you will work your additions into the original page. Also, you have quite a lot of formatting to work on (subheadings in bold or larger, link words to other articles, citations in place). I am not able to evaluate your use of references because the citations are not in place at the end of your sentences. It seems that many of your statements are general information instead of synthesis of what has been shown in research papers. For this assignment, it is important for you to show that you can distill scientific information into useful descriptions of plants. Please talk to me soon if you need clarification on this expectation.Lethornton (talk) 02:24, 15 April 2018 (UTC)