User talk:Mariah.edgecomb

Yo Mariah whats up dude. I think your source-based content is good. Your sources seem reliable and clearly cited. There is a very broad coverage of the topic but it gets way too broad at some points. Your history section is basically irrelevant. I don't really care about the civil war, the invention of the elevator, the first telephone line, and the statue of liberty when I'm reading about Baxter Street Boys. If they do have any connection back to your main topic, its not made and therefore seems unimportant.

I think your content is chunked well and your format is great, There is definitely a neutral point of view held consistently but a lot of the sentences are messy and don't really make any sense at all."The conflict between the North and South over slavery in western states began. The south was attacking South Carolina, starting the war. States were seceding left and right and the Battle of Gettysburg also occurred in this time frame. While all of this was going on in the lower half of the country other states were flourishing." These sentences don't really make any sense. South Carolina was a confederate state therefore the south wouldn't attack one of its own states and it just reads very awkwardly. "A prison, Tombs which were once called the Manhattan Detention Complex which held many high profile criminals was present on Baxter Street in the 1838" This sentence also is very awkward and should be restructured. "While it seems to now be a normal New York street, despite the past further up Baxter street is Chinatown." Another awkward sentence that should be restructured. These aren't concise and should be restructured to help your article read better.

I would also include more media to fulfill the requirements on the rubric.

Overall I think its good I would just restructure the history section and go over some of the awkward sentences. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lepiree (talk • contribs) 17:51, 17 May 2018 (UTC)