User talk:Marrosann/sandbox

Peer editing
Hi Marrosann! I think you have done a really nice job adding to this article! I really appreciate your efforts to remain unbiased and bring in information regarding youth inequalities that we have discussed in class. I especially think think the intro does a nice job of broadly but briefly introducing the topic from a global perspective; however, I would be hesitant to frame the category as only those under the age of 18 since this likely varies across regions.

Inequalities in sport

 * I think you did well bringing the global south in but feel as though the 'Social class' section does not really recognize the north at all and frames the south in an extremely negative light as though they don't have any opportunities, especially with the phrase about not receiving an "optimal start in life."
 * In the 'Gender' section, I was wondering if you had any actual statistics rather than just using emotionally charged words like when you speak of participation "skyrocketing." It also seemed biased maybe to say how "No matter the sport, the benefits of participating remain." I just thought this seemed a bit counterproductive since the article does well to stay unbiased by providing both the 'Benefits' and 'Concerns' sections. I also thought you could be aware of writing in a more simplified manner (possible for that of a middle school student I think we are supposed to consider) especially for example in this section where you use the phrase "culturally constructed subtle nuances."
 * In the 'Spatial divisions' section, it seemed as though you were insinuating the main difference between the global north and south stems from finances and that the South is just poor, but aren't there poorer areas in the North without access to these resources that can be recognized too?

General feedback

 * I don't think we are supposed to capitalize all of the words in titles, even subtitles, so it would be 'Benefits of sport' and so on.
 * Is there an image you could find to add to this page?
 * I was told not to link terms more than once when you are doing the Wikilinks (for example, gender gap in the 'Gender' section of 'Inequalities.'
 * I thought the 'Benefits' and 'Concerns' sections both seemed like very long lists and was wondering if you could break that up more somehow or expand on the items to give it more depth.
 * I thought it could be considered biased to use the term "Successful" in the last section heading about 'Youth sports programs' since you could talk about them without suggesting this before even reading the section.
 * The article left me wondering more about what is popular in the world of sports, since it seemed rather focused on organized, competitive sport. I was also wondering if there was any information about injuries that you came across in your research since I expected to see that in 'Possible concerns' section since I would think it could be a risk that could negatively impact a child's development.

Overall, I think you have done great work with this article! RunIowa (talk) 02:59, 8 November 2014 (UTC)

Peer Editing
Hello!

-Have you considered linking college athletics, or touching on it at all?

-Loved the inequality section, possibly talk about title IX?

-I think the way you phrased the global north and global south section was nice, but maybe don’t say it so blatantly?

-Could you explain the games and championships section a bit more clearly?

-As for the gender section, if you could include a bit about transgendered you athletes? I don’t know if there is any research on that but it could be a cool topic.

I really think you did great things on this topic, I especially think you did a good job on staying away from bias and things like that.

MaScott14 (talk) 20:24, 8 November 2014 (UTC)