User talk:Marroyo7/sandbox

Peer Review from Diana Silvas, 15:30, 22 November 2020 (UTC)
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 * I found your article interesting. When you have your section about Representation on television you should expand it. I think there is more representation in other shows. For example, DWTS had Adam Rippon, he was the first openly gay ma to go and compete in the Olympics. During the show, he was a hit.
 * Additionally, I think some more information you could add is representation in television journalism. I believe there are some news anchors who are openly gay.
 * I think that you can add to TV shows you mention and you could mention Grey's anatomy.
 * Maybe adding how people have been reacting to this representation would be interesting as well.
 * Do not forget to add links to other pages.
 * In the social media section, it was really I really linked how you mention the apps. I think a good addition would adding examples of people or examples of the representation.
 * Looking forward to your additions and presentation.

Peer Review by Dabel Obikili
I enjoyed reading your article. However, I feel like you could have added more to it, you should consider expanding it. In the part where you mentioned individuals of the younger generation using social media such as Twitter, Instagram etc to understand themselves better, I totally get your point in this and agree with you but you could expatiate and give some examples if possible? You also forgot to include the links to the other pages. I was also wondering if there were any other prominent researchers or research studies that you thought should be added just to go into more depth. Overall, I think you've tried and I like your article.

Dabel Obikili — Preceding unsigned comment added by Myusername101 (talk • contribs) 05:42, 24 November 2020 (UTC)

Peer Review by Kimberley Catherine Goveas

 * This article was really nice to read and touched on many important points.
 * The first thing I noticed is that the citations from the original article were missing in your draft. I'm not sure if you wanted to keep it like this till the end before you finalize everything, but just to give you a heads up.
 * Under the section 'Domestication' in the third paragraph first line, there are two spelling errors that I found: "...are f a woman..." and "...maternal roles, and relationsrs...". I am not sure if they were intentional. In your section about 'Representation on Television', you mentioned that "The show captured the attention of all types of people with different backgrounds...". I was wondering if you could expand the section a little more by giving another example after the one you added involving gender fluidity.
 * In the section about 'Social Media', I like how you used the idea of social media apps to explain the effects of new beauty standards on society, specifically young children. My suggestion would be to add an example or two at the end of the paragraph to convey the description above: "Many individuals of the younger generation use the content they see on apps such as FaceBook, Instagram, and Twitter to better understand their own identities and "self-presentation," therefore increasing the representation of nonbinary/nonconforming gender identities and transgender community". It would help visualize the point being made clearer.
 * Altogether, this is a topic I can definitely learn from! I'm looking forward to how you incorporate these ideas into your presentation.

-- Kgoveas (talk) | Kimberley Goveas