User talk:Mathias94/sandbox

Hi Mathias94! I'm peer-editing what you are planning to include the article. "Writing Career" and "Return to Painting" updates look good! My only concern is in the "Early Life and Education" portion, some parts do not come across as neutral -- I know being able to see the sources will help with that. In particular I'm talking about the portion of her being a quiet child and therefore teachers thinking she was academically challenged, and then the part of her studying home economics to at least be a teacher. It just reads odd and unrelated to the rest of the section 1527naturallog (talk) 21:22, 14 April 2018 (UTC)

Response
Hi 1527naturallog! Thanks for the feedback! I was unsure about those sentences as well, but Fein seemed to stress these two points in the interviews where I got the information from so I wasn't sure whether to summarize what she said or quote from her directly. I might quote directly from Fein to make it seem a little more neutral. Again, thanks for the feedback! Mathias94 (talk) 02:12, 18 April 2018 (UTC)Mathias94

Peer review: article
I looked at the latest version of the article, and you did a great job editing and adding to it. I was looking forward to reading about Sylvia Fein, since I’m also from Milwaukee. The article flows well and is organized nicely.

Some specific thoughts:

First section: I’d suggest either adding a citation for the following quote or deleting it: “During this time, newspapers described Fein as ‘Wisconsin’s Foremost Woman Painter.’” It would help even if you could attribute the quote to one paper, although I realize that attempting to find this information could be very time-intensive.

Early life and education: Do you know what her degree from Madison is in and when she graduated? I notice that the article includes her MFA degree and when she received it, and it would be nice to include her earlier degree, too.

Life in Mexico: I love her quote saying she would cry upon returning to Mexico because she has “the dust of Mexico on her heart.” Nice detail!

Return to painting: Since images of her Tree series are not part of the article, you might consider simplifying the descriptions of each painting to a description for the series as a whole. If you think it would be helpful to keep them, though, that’s your call, of course.

Image of the artist: I’m glad you were able to find a photo of Fein to add to the page. It definitely adds visual interest to the page, and readers like to put a face to the biographical information.

Again, good work!

Floralyogi (talk) 03:05, 25 April 2018 (UTC)

Article feedback
Hi Mathias94,

Overall nice work on the Wikipedia assignment. I think the new sections you added and the minor edits (adding additional shows) have helped develop this article into a more robust piece. In reviewing the Sylvia Fein article it seems a major section that was missed was the development and description of her artistic career. The introductory paragraph should have been re-iterated and expanded upon in the body of the article. As it reads now there is nothing about Fein's artistic development or style. How was her work characterized? What did it look like? Why was she a Surrealist, and how did she become one? Who did she study with? Did she teach? Was she represented by a gallery?

You mention wanting to expand upon the lists of her solo and group exhibitions--doing so would have been another opportunity to address the above questions.

Also, remember that when citing articles from Ebsco you need to provide a full citation--just c+v the link doesn't provide the article or any info about it.

Thanks for your work on this! Zipperbrown (talk) 20:56, 3 May 2018 (UTC)