User talk:Maxwell murderer137

Maxwell Markland Cook Til Alexandros the 17th
Created by Bil Gates and Nobuo Uemetsu, he was formed when Bil tripped over Nobuo's banjo while he set it down to gaze out into the Sahara Desert, Bil had broken a string on Nobou's banjo. The fragments that were shattered planted themselves into the Sahara sand. Thriving on neglect and sand snakes, a human by the name of Max grew from the sand. While growing he thought he was doomed to wander the sands of the Sahara for all of eternity. Max created all things that we know, and they in return vowed never to harm him. They said that if they ever purposefully hurt him they would wipe themselves from existence. Which is what brought upon the end of the dinosaurs. One day a stray Gallameimus accidentally stuttered saying "Galla-Galla-Gallameemoose". Slaughtering it's own name. This made Max laugh so hard his sides hurt. Thus, the Gallameimus and all other dinosaurs were doomed. Max erupted in an enormous ball of flames and threw all the dinosaurs around the world. This is what also caused Pangaea to break into todays continents.

One day he came across a titanic horny toad. He scaled the beast, upon reaching the top he took control of the massive lizard's mighty reins. He rode the lizard for 14 millenia before reaching the sea. Once there the lizard touched the water, the water's salty coolness took over the the magical beast and it took the form of a colossal leviathan. Max and the Leviathan travelled across the ocean fighting many battles with everything from shark-men to gigantic seaguls. After reaching the southern shores of the middle east where he departed with the leviathan and travelled to a town called Jerusalem. There he met a man named Jesus. Jesus and Max became friends, but not for long. Jesus was there for Max once, then Jesus stabbed Max in the back; not figuratively of course, Jesus literally put a dagger in Max's back. This was punishable by crucifixion. After 3 days on the cross Jesus died. Max, as a spiteful being took Jesus' cross and to this day wears it. When asked why he said, "It's like my four-leaf clover." He soon looked at the state of Michigan, which was originally shaped like a giant penis due to Paul Bunyan's mischievous attitude. Max battled Paul and his mighty ox for 4 years until he finally defeated Paul by pimp-smacking him so hard that Paul and his ox were erased from existence. Michigan then terraformed into the shape of a hand; to show the mighty force of Max's "Pimp-Hand".

Max eventually established a city and civilization and decided to become an average among them to watch their progress and demise. During the 1930's, Max thought that the world was doing too well economically, so he decided to ruin millions of family's lives by making the stock market crash and making all of their hard earned cash-money magically disappear. During this time there was an alcohal shortage, so Max created prohibition to prevent anyone else from drinking booze so that Max could drink it all. He let them keep vodka though, vodka's fucking gross.

Rough Draft “Philosophy; the discipline concerned with the questions of how one should live (ethics); what sorts of things exist and what are their essential natures (metaphysics); what counts as genuine knowledge (epistemology); and what are the correct principles of reasoning (logic)”(Quinton) or as the Greeks said, “The love of wisdom.” Ever since the creation of man, philosophy has been studied, vivisected and divulged upon to no end. To this day there are still questions that not just philosophers, but anyone, still ponder endlessly aloft. Now one may also just say that philosophy is just another word for religion. This allegation is not far off. Philosophy is concerned with questions, and is often designed and arranged in an intelligent manner by the individual. Religion however, is a moral outline that’s been developed over thousands of years, and acts as more of a starting point for ones philosophy. These two themes alone have shaped our world’s cultures and societies. So why is it that most high schools don’t offer philosophy or theorems of religion courses? Students seeking to pursue a career or even those with just an interest in the subjects must wait until college to further their own knowledge of the subjects at hand. Some schools have already begun teaching philosophy, “Ten Chicago area high schools have been experimenting with a course in philosophy. Not only have students have given it an enthusiastic reception, the course has triggered self-examination” (Reber) Seeing that students have given it an “enthusiastic reception” and that the course has given students an ability to see how they want to live their lives shows that students would be happy with a philosophy course. Philosophy’s impact on society has changed the life of billions of people over the past two millennia. I believe Bertrand Russell explained philosophy’s purpose best, "The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as to seem not worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it." Philosophers such as Socrates invented an entire following that’s almost comparable to most main stream religions by saying a few small words such as, “One must rationalize one’s self before one can rationalize the world.” he created an entire branch of philosophy and religious thinking. All important figures in society have had some sort of philosophy that they stuck to and changed the world because of it. People like Guy Fawkes and Robert Catesby who intended on blowing up Parliament in 1605 because their philosophy was that the people shouldn’t be prosecuted for their beliefs and differences by the iron-fisted Protestant rule over London at the time. Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr. who believed that all people are equal beings and that they should have the same rights. Everybody in the world has their own philosophy, even the nihilists who believe that the key to true efficiency that they must believe in absolutely nothing. So if everyone has their own philosophy and everyone wishes to elaborate upon their own philosophies, why don’t we study them before we go out into the world? By studying philosophy, or any subject for that matter, the only thing an individual can gain is wisdom, and if philosophy is the love of wisdom, why not delve into the subject that makes up the majority of an individuals persona? Philosophy’s impact has given society such a colossal jaunt in accepting and defining individuals and religions that it would be impossible to categorize all of the effects it has had.

Religion’s influence on today’s society is so vast that it could be another paper. Throughout the millennia that man-kind has existed in, religion has molded the world which surrounds us. Look around. Everywhere you turn there is something has been affected by religion. Christ’s’ arrival and departure had us split history into two periods. Over 5.8 billion people believe in some sort of religion. That’s ninety percent of the world’s population. If something has had this big of an impact on our world, why aren’t any of its theories studied in public high schools? By theories I mean, why do people that practice this religion behave like this, or have such tendencies as this? Not a religious studies class, but a study of religious theory and structure course. Looking through history, such important events in history were all constructed from religion. The Crusades, a series of wars based completely on religion and nothing else. These wars lasted 177 years. The most famous crusade would be the Siege of Jerusalem. It was lead by the Christians to recapture Jerusalem or, “The Holy Land” as the Christians called it at the time, from the Muslims and Jews. The reasons why these wars happened is simple, religious intolerance due to ignorance. The Siege of Jerusalem happened because Christians and Muslims were unable to reach comprise due to the fact that they didn’t understand each others religion and neither intended to. To this day it still happens. Look at the middle-east now. The Palestinians and Israelis still wage war over who deserves an apology because they each feel that their religion was insulted by the other. I believe it’s important not just for todays, but every generation of youth to learn why those who practice a certain religion act as they do. It’s not only an important topic to learn by itself, but it will also supply a basic knowledge of most religions and give students the opportunity to connect with the majority of the world on at least one level.

I can see why people don’t wish to have philosophical and religious ideals taught to their kids. It would take the paragon of educational relay to teach such courses without seeming to preach to the class, telling them what’s right and what’s not. Putting myself in the shoes of the parent whose student is enrolled in such courses, I would be fearful of the teacher trying to press his beliefs upon the students and telling them why his philosophy is better and theirs is incorrect and immoral. The purpose of the classes I’m defining is to eliminate that particular barrier and become accepting of other peoples ideals and beliefs. Some parents may also not want their students to learn about Rationalism, Judaism, Christianity, Satanism, Buddhism, etc. because their religious preference is so strongly shifted to one selection or another that they are fearful of their children finding solace in something they don’t agree with or believe in. Others may simply be offended that they would even offer such a class due to the fact that they are so strongly swayed one way that they think other religions and beliefs are just wrong.

The reason for the creation of these classes is not to offend, rebel or have any other harmful intentions that they may seem to have. The reasons for these hypothetical situations are to expand an individual’s reason and understanding of other beliefs and preferences, to provide insight into others ways and to shatter the barrier of misunderstanding about other individuals thought processes. Looking at those parents who don’t want their kids associated with such courses. That’s fine, but other people have the right to gain knowledge and learn about what other philosophies and religions have to offer. Experimental classes such as these have shown positive cognitive gains in some schools across the country, “The significant pre-post cognitive ability gains in the experimental group in primary school were maintained towards the end of their second year of secondary school. Higher achieving pupils were somewhat advantaged in sustaining these gains. The control group showed an insignificant but persistent deterioration in scores from pre- to post-test to follow-up.” (Topping) These studies showed that students who studied a philosophy course for 2 school years had not only achieved high grades, but also had achieved a better outlook on their own lives. If such classes raise the morale of students and their grades, I don’t see why these classes shouldn’t exist in all schools around the nation. So why don’t most high schools offer classes such as “Theories of Philosophy” and “Religion and its Theorems”? To this question I have no reasonable answer. Everyone who would partake in these courses would only gain a better understanding of the world and the people in it. The only thing lost from the inclusion of students in these two courses would be ignorance. By teaching tomorrow’s youth these courses there may be more proactive individuals in this world who focus on making their lives the best they can by their own standards, not anyone else’s. Plato once said, “I trust that what I say is just; and let none of you expect anything else. For what I believe in is neither right nor wrong.” (Kemerling) If either of these courses are to ever exist, I would be more than ecstatic to instruct either of them.

Works Cited Kemerling, Garth. A Dictionary of Philosophical Terms and Names. 29, Oct. 2006. 19, Mar. 2008.  Quinton, Anthony; ed. Ted Honderich "Philosophy". The Oxford Companion to Philosophy. (1996) Reber, Donald. Philosophy: A Course for High School Students. NASSP Bulletin, Vol. 55, No. 353. 1 Mar. 1971. Topping, K.J. Collaborative Philosophical Inquiry for School Children: Cognitive Gains at 2-Year Follow Up. The British Journal of Educational Psychology, Vol. 77, No. 4. Dec. 2007