User talk:Maybenans/Campus police

Opinion
As I mentioned in class, you should reword statements that are opinion in order to make them supported factual statements. You write, that the Virginina Tech shooting is "still considered to be one of the deadliest shootings in the history of the United States." Instead, you can simply restate some of the facts about the shooting: 32 people were killed and 17 were wounded and it garnered international media attention. The shooting has its own Wikipedia entry, which you already link to. It does a pretty good job of explaining the significance of the event. Ihiyotl (talk) 18:08, 4 November 2021 (UTC)

Context
You nicely describe the relationship of university police to municipal police, but you might also consider whether it would be useful to add a couple of sentences that gesture toward police on high school campuses, including a link out to the Wikipedia page on school resource officers.Ihiyotl (talk) 18:08, 4 November 2021 (UTC)

Clery Act
Your final sentence on this topic suggests that its effects were a crack down on crime and increased policing. However, what the act actually requires of universities is greater surveillance of campuses and the surrounding neighborhoods (and, by extension, the people who live, work, and pass through these places), which is not necessarily the same thing as a crack down on crime. Ihiyotl (talk) 22:30, 13 November 2021 (UTC)

School shootings
There is some lack of clarity in much of the scholarship on this subject between two categories of shootings. On the one hand, there are the comparatively rare "school mass shootings" that include situations in which one or more shooters attempt to shoot a large number of people on an educational campus (sometimes at random, but often targeting victims who meet certain criteria such as women and BIPOC students—as at Columbine—or participants in a specific class—as at Sandy Hook). As noted in the AAUP report, only a very small number of these have ever happened on higher education campuses. (And when they have happened, the shooters were usually graduate or professional students!) On the other hand, there are the far more common "school shootings" that include any instance of a person (most often a student) discharging a firearm on an educational campus. These are often gang related and happen overwhelmingly at poorly funded, majority-minority, urban high schools. When these second type of shootings occur on higher education campuses, they are most frequently suicide attempts, domestic disputes, or accidental discharges (as is the case with most firearm violence in general). Perhaps unsurprisingly, the ambiguity between how the numbers of shooting incidents are reported across these two categories can easily lend support for additional police presence on campuses. The fear over mass shootings, combined with numbers reported for shootings in general leads people to over-estimate the threat of mass shootings and therefore to lend more support to police presence on campuses. I certainly don't expect you to wade into all of this, but just let it sink in and then consider how that context might lead you to want to frame your discussion. Ihiyotl (talk) 22:30, 13 November 2021 (UTC)

Copyediting
Be sure to conduct a careful proofread of your final version, because particularly attentive to things like spacing and punctuation. For example, your first endnote comes before a period. (It should come after.) Your second and third endnotes come after a period, but have no space following them. Your fourth, fifth, and sixth endnotes come before a period. Your seventh footnote has a space before it and no space between it and the beginning of the next sentence. Your eighth footnote come before a period. And your ninth footnote has a space between it and the period preceeding it. (That's nine consecutive footnotes, all formatted differently and none formatted correctly!) Also, there is a preposition missing somewhere in your first sentence: perhaps "of" between conceptions and campus? And in your first paragraph "on universities" might be better phrased as "at universities" or "on university campuses." You are missing another preposition in the first sentence of your third paragraph: "basis mass" should be "basis of mass." (I would also probably say "that" instead of "who" in this sentence since the referent is an object ["entities"] rather than a person.) In paragraph four, you have an agreement issue: "there remains additional factors" should be "there remain additional factors." Also "post 9/11" should be "post-9/11" because it is a compound modifier that precedes the nominal that it modifies ("measures"). Ihiyotl (talk) 22:30, 13 November 2021 (UTC)