User talk:Mayu Yamada/sandbox

Mayu's Peer Review
Trying my best to understand what you plan to add and modify the JSL Wikipedia page. First of all, you will need to decide which language are you planning to write the page with? Because I think the translation may be inaccurate and it is causing the sentences to look strange. So far, I think you're on the right track and I would like to mention and comment on some things.

- I think your new suggested definition of JSL looks awesome.

- For population, maybe you could clarify between the JSL signers and JSL native signers? And not all choose to sign because some might hear so well and use the spoken language instead.

- I like the idea of a new section that focuses on Deaf Education in the Wikipedia page. You could explain a little more how JSL is being used in schools? How does sign language usually work in school environment? Maybe a little about bilingualism?

- Your opinions are great, but I think these will look like a little biased because you don't have any sources to support your claims. If you want to include them, try finding an article if possible. However, like the tutorial mentioned, you CAN be neutral instead. For example, you can recognize that there are not many articles about JSL because of the studies are very recent/very new.

- I would think it will better if you merge both Deaf Education and bilingual in the same section. Because, often, when people look for bilingualism and they often think of Deaf education or vice versa. They both are in the similar aspect and it will be better to keep them in one place.

- Maybe you could consider changing the name of this section "Diffusion among the hearing". The wording of it looks so strange and it can be easily rephrased. Rephrase it to Popularity of JSL or something, to frame it more positively.

That's all for now. Good luck!

Hi Mayu, I will edit this the best that I can as I cannot understand the Japanese version of the wikipedia page. I am going to go by the numbers that you included for the different sections and where I think they could go in the english wiki article 1). I think that this is very important and should be included in the beginning of the article. I think that it could also be coupled with some of 5. I think that the explanation of the different kinds of signed languages in Japan could be coupled with explaining what JSL is and could also be a separate part (further explanation further down). 2). their numbers are extremely different and should be changed. maybe include it in the background info, unlike how it is currently included in the end. It could also be its own section for 3 and 5) maybe include a deaf education section that could incorporate the current problems and changes that are occurring to better improve the problems. I think that 5 could be split between background information (explaining the different signed languages) and could also be included in education as it discusses what people learn in schools and different settings. For the three reasons for problems	the first one could be included in background? maybe just mentioning that few studies have been done on the language?	for the second one, it could be coupled with education or explaining how the language works when you discus the three different kinds	for the third, this could be included in Deaf education, just be careful how you phrase it so that it does not sound biased 6). I agree that that sentence sounds biased and should be removed and potentially replaced. If you choose to replace it (which I think would be a good idea), be careful to also not sound biased. The first two sentences can be combined to not sound as biased. What you have so far sounds good except for “About the education that use simultaneous communication or sign language, there is a myth that sign prevents Deaf children from acquiring written language, so some parents of Deaf children don’t select sign language when they grow their children.” I think that it could be rephrased or completely taken out, as the next two sentences also prove your point in a non-biased way, you are stating facts. Maybe rephrase the 6th sentence to sound like any language could be their first language. It currently reads as if signed language is the only language that Deaf children should start with. But overall I think with rephrasing this would be a better replacement for the biased sentence.

overall- I think your plans for additions are really good. I think you mostly just need to decide on where you would like to put the additions and how they will best fit with the current article. Your additions are mostly factual that you backed up with reliable sources so there is little bias which is hard to do! Please let me know if you have any questions on my edits Ophmac (talk) 02:10, 25 March 2019 (UTC)

Suggestions
I really like the direction you are going here. I would like to see the actual text that you plan to use so I can give you feedback on that. In the meantime, here are my thoughts.

Section 3:
 * You might open with: "Japanese Sign Language is often confused with other manual systems for communicating that are used in Japan. Japanese Sign Language is a naturally evolved language, and like any other language has its own linguistic structures."
 * It might be good to have a subsection for the other two types of manual communication that people refer to as "sign."
 * You might add a little information saying that manual systems for expressing a spoken language often lead to ungrammatical structures and incomplete sentences in both the spoken and signed language. https://www.jstor.org/stable/26203261?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

Section 5: The point of Deaf Education should be to make sure that children have a language foundation, not simply to help kids learn to write. The goal of Bilingual Deaf Education emphasizes the languages that Deaf Children have complete access to: JSL and written Japanese. As such, you should frame this section as being about both of these goals (JSL and written Japanese) not just written Japanese. Ncaselli (talk) 01:44, 30 April 2019 (UTC)