User talk:Mckeownshea/sandbox

Comments
The page you chose definitely is a starter page and could use so much help in terms of editing and organization. In fact, one could argue that it's a questionable topic for a standard encyclopedia entry, at least in the way that it is currently framed. That said, Wikipedia is breaking new ground in a number of ways and certainly this entry does.

I like that you chose to offer a more research-based solutions to the problem. The section that seems the most compelling out of these is"

-According to the CDC, there are a couple things the school can do that are evidence and research based to help the school become a healthy place for all children, and those ways are: encourage respect for all children, no matter what your ethnicity is or sexual orientation and ban bullying, harassment, or violence, identify "safe places" on campus for the students like a counselor's office or a designated classroom where students of the LGBTQ community can find support and feel safe, and ensure the health curriculum is up to date regarding the LGBTQ community and have HIV, STD, and pregnancy prevention information that is relevant to them.

This could be made easier to read by breaking up some of the sentences. For example you might consider this: -According to the CDC, there are a number of evidence and research-based methods to help the school become a healthier place for all children. These include: encouraging respect for all children, no matter ethnicity or sexual orientation; banning bullying, harassment, or violence; identifying "safe places" on campus for students, such as a counselor's office or a designated classroom where students of the LGBTQ community can find support and feel safe; and ensuring the health curriculum is up to date regarding the LGBTQ community with HIV, STD, and pregnancy prevention information that is relevant to them.

Finally, were there specific tested methods for "encouraging respect for all children, no matter ethnicity or sexual orientation?" That would be very useful information. I hope you find these suggestions helpful.Jbdolphin (talk) 06:07, 16 December 2020 (UTC)