User talk:Mcthompson5/sandbox

Instructor feedback for article draft
Nice start overall. Here are a few suggestions for improvement as you revise.

The revisions you made to the lead section were good and helpful to that section. Try not to use direct quotes unless absolutely necessary. If you do, make sure to use proper APA citation style by including a page number in the in-text citation. The second sentence is an example of a quote that could be paraphrased instead. The last two sentences of this section could be revised a bit to avoid editorializing ("holds significant promise") and for accuracy. I would not describe this theory as psychological. I know you did not write that, but it could be revised for accuracy. The theory was developed by communication scholars and although is heavily based in cognitive processes, it is still trying to explain communication behavior.

Your additions to the background section are good, but might fit better elsewhere, particularly your additions in paragraphs 1 and 2. Paragraph 2 contains a long quote which could be paraphrased and content that would fit better in the applications section of the article. I think the background section is a good place to elaborate, which you should do more of, about the evolution of uncertainty reduction theories. You noted this in one sentence, but could expand on this information more.

The addition you made in the interpretation phase seems a little redundant to me given what already exists in this paragraph. The quote in the second paragraph is good, but could be paraphrased.

The evaluation phase section has some nice revisions. Try to avoid passive voice style and use verbs that are performed by actors. I think you could be the clarification about the who the target person is at the first part of the target efficacy point.

The sentence added to the "seek relevant information" section could be paraphrased and expanded. What are some circumstances that might lead to less direct forms of obtaining information? What are some examples of those less direct forms? I think the paragraph you added under cognitive reappraisal is the strongest contribution to this page.

The revisions in the process for information provider section are good. Again, try to avoid passive voice.

The application section is a place to expand the content by describing one or two studies organized thematically if appropriate. You should provide the findings of the studies and the implications for the theory and practical usage.

I think the critique and future directions section is strong, but would be more readable to a broad audience with paraphrasing rather than relying on quotes.

APA style in the references section is pretty good. Make sure to only capitalize the first word in an article title. Jrpederson (talk) 21:17, 16 October 2019 (UTC)