User talk:Mels93/new sandbox

Content-I think you did a great job expanding on the Reaction section adding more context to W.B Yeats' quote as well as giving more details of the initial riots to the play. I like that you have included the parts that you are missing and intending to fill, as well as your future plans with your edits of the page. From reading through Emer's comments from your article evaluation, I noticed that you haven't said you plan on expanding on Acts 3 & 4 as well as adding some overview in the introduction. If possible I think those would be good additions to the article, but I think you have done a great job so far.

Tone- Your tone is very neutral and very well written, I am impressed!

Sources- Your sources are great, and I think following up for sources (Morash book) for quotes is a great plan. You have also formatted it quite well, as well as getting every hyperlink to work (which I am very impressed with).

Overall I think you did a great job with what you have so far, and have good plans for future edits. Again my only suggestion is to revisit Emer's comments for other additions that could be beneficial to the article --Cbelliveau (talk) 20:33, 17 October 2018 (UTC)cbelliveau

Hi

This is looking very promising indeed! The section on reception that you propose is vital. You might also like to include a brief summary of the attempted censorship that proceeded the play, and perhaps also find a way to condense Patrick Lonergan's argument that The Plough and the Stars showed that a newly state-subsidized Abbey Theatre would not sacrifice its artistic freedom. EmerOToole (talk) 18:39, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

Just a note to remind you to start working the feedback above into the material on your sandbox. Remember that this is a graded part of the assignment. Please finish it by the end of the week.EmerOToole (talk) 18:38, 8 November 2018 (UTC)

This is looking really good, Melissa - well done.

You should rephrase the sentence about Bessie Burgess & Mrs. Gogan fighting over the pram.

The Section on "Production" Needs to be renamed as you are not talking about the production here, but rather about pre-production controversy, or attempts at censorship.

"Certain words and phrases" is too vague - you should specify that you mean blasphemy and profanities.

You might also like to add a sentence about the cuts O'Casey did agree to: namely, cutting Rosie's song at the end of the pub scene. (This is not absolutely necessary - just a suggestion)

The section on reaction might also be more instructively named - as it is about initial reception and protests.

It's Lennox Robinson.

Please be carefully to adequately paraphrase Morash's work here, as there are times when your phrasing echoes the source too closely. Also, please remember that Morash is dramatising for effect - he's conjuring up the atmosphere he imagines in theatre that night. This is appropriate for his work, but less so for ours on Wikipedia.

Great work. Address these issues and tag me, then we should be ready to move this to wikipedia and you will be all done! EmerOToole (talk) 02:07, 21 November 2018 (UTC)

Great work,. I hope you're proud of the contributions you've made to the wiki page. EmerOToole (talk) 18:36, 5 December 2018 (UTC)