User talk:Mhxelamh/sandbox

Hi Mhxelamh!

The structure of your article made it very easy to read. I enjoyed that you began with an in-depth introduction paragraph and then wrote about the historical background on the Civil War. This was very helpful in reading the rest of your article. The overall content was very informative and you had great use of hyperlinks throughout the article and many sources!

I thought you did a pretty good job incorporating youth into your article, especially in the section on street gangs. However, I think you could include more. You mention in your last section on "Migration" that youth are most affected by the consequences of the violent Guatemalan society. I found this statement very interesting and wanted to know more on why and how they are most affected. Another section that I think readers would find useful in your article may be possible solutions or policy implications that could help decrease these high crime rates in Guatemala. This was one thing I wondered about as I was reading your article. My last suggestion would just be to add pictures to your page which could be helpful and also pleasing to the eye:)

I found two sources that you may find helpful in editing your article. The first is a case study in the erosion of Guatemala, touching on crime and violence. . The section I would recommend reading in this article is "Policy Implications" on page 38 which discusses why there is no change in this ongoing violence and crime throughout Guatemala and I think it may provide you with some ideas on possible solutions to decrease crime.

The next source talks specifically about migration a youth, a section I found interesting in your article but didn't have a lot of information. . It discusses possible causes of migration and reasons as to why youth are so involved in crime in Guatemala.

Marrosann (talk) 21:42, 6 November 2014 (UTC)

Hi Mhxelamh,

Over all, this was a very interesting and informative article. After reviewing the original article, I saw you made some great additions and are on your way to insuring youth are included. I have some overall comments as well as comments specific to certain sections.

General Comments

 * You have added great information about crime in general but should strive to incorporate more information about the youth perspective (there are some more specific spots later on)
 * Read through to insure you are using an encyclopedic tone throughout. Some words that could be eliminated are words like "very" and "often".
 * When writing try to think about whether a 7th grader would be able to understand what you are saying. Try to be as precise as possible with your wording.

History of the Guatemalan Civil War

 * Clarify the first sentence. Do the youth fear the government or does the government fear the youth?
 * It would be really cool to go more in depth with the role the youth played in the revolution. Why did they lead the revolution? What was their role in it? How did they effect the end result?

Trafficking

 * I like that you mention the fear created in Guatemala by the trafficking. Try to connect this into the fear the kids feel, though.
 * possibly try to expand the human trafficking section to see if it includes youth. Are there prostitution rings that Guatemalan youth may be forced into?

Violence

 * Divide up the first chunk. Possibly create a general youth and violence introduction and then another section with the street gang information. This could start at "Two key street gangs..."
 * Clarify the section starting with "Guatemalan society has come to see..."
 * How are female youth effected by the violence against women?

Migration

 * make sure you keep your focus. For example, the section explaining specific gang violence does not connect back to migration and can be eliminated.
 * is there any information about the impact of migration on youth?
 * In addition to the migration to the U.S., do they have reasons to migrate within the country?

Great work so far!! Let me know if you have any questions about these comments.

--Bellerive37200 (talk) 00:51, 7 November 2014 (UTC)