User talk:Miasdae/sandbox

Post Miasdae (talk) 05:39, 11 October 2016 (UTC)

Peer Review
1. Mohamed Bouazizi a. Mural: I believe that your suggestion of adding the “Mural” section will improve the quality of this article. The current article does well in explaining the life of Mohamed Bouazizi and his self-immolation. Yet, there is little mention about how the world reacted to this incident. In this regard, your description about the work of Daniel Doherty in San Francisco’s Mission district will help readers better understand the essence of Bouazizi’s self-immolation. Furthermore, I think that it is great to add appropriate visual representations regarding this incident as a picture is worth a thousand words. Sometimes, At the same time, however, I wish you can bring more examples that illustrated the global community’s concern with regard to this incident other than murals. I think that you can also mention how the global community reacted to Bouazizi’s self-immolation, and put efforts in raising the awareness of Bouazizi’s action on social media such as Facebook and Twitter. In addition, you may also briefly describe other social projects that participate in spreading the awareness of this incident worldwide in order to further improve the quality of this article, and keep the content more neutral.Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

b. Perception: This is another great idea to present the story of Mohamed Bouazizi more objectively. Based on their interests and philosophies, individuals may have different viewpoints on Mohamed Bouazizi’s self-immolation. In my opinion, it is more reasonable to divide up this section into two parts: Proposition & Opposition instead of presenting them in one paragraph. Not only will it enrich the content, but by doing this, you can also more successfully deliver a balanced viewpoint with regard to this incident. In addition, although I like your use of quotes from famous figures, I think that it’s little overused in this section. Thus, I think that it will be nicer if you can summarize these ideas in your own words. Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

c. Overall: I think that you are on a good track in terms of improving the quality of this article. You are trying to deliver a balanced coverage regarding Mohamed Bouazizi’s self-immolation, and present a neutral content. Yet, I hope to see that you expand an array of reliable resources. Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

''Responses: I agree, adding a mural section will help the reader visualize and further the impact of Monhamed Bouazizi's life. Angela looked up to see if I could incorporate a picture of the mural, but she was not sure if I could or not. I will reach out to our wikiedu guides. I think it would be really beneficial for the article to see these murals world-wide, even in tourist destinations like in San Francisco. In response to: "I think that you can also mention how the global community reacted to Bouazizi’s self-immolation, and put efforts in raising the awareness of Bouazizi’s action on social media such as Facebook and Twitter. " I was having trouble finding sources in scholarly articles. News sources reported on it, but I was already using too many sources that were not strictly for Berkeley students. I will try and look again at the readings Professor Harris assigned, I think they might touch this more! "In addition, you may also briefly describe other social projects that participate in spreading the awareness of this incident worldwide in order to further improve the quality of this article, and keep the content more neutral." What projects came to mind? Thank you for the good suggestion!''

2. Arab Spring a. Social Media and the Arab Spring: Last week, we discussed in the lecture regarding how important social media was in driving the Arab Spring. It’s great that you are extending our class discussion, and highlighting the importance of social media in this article. I think that your use of quotes from experts is a great transition for introducing individuals’ different viewpoints on the role of social media in the Arab Spring. Yet, the structure would be more logical if you can create a subsection within this section (i.e. Viewpoints on the role of Social Media) when you insert three different quotes. I also think that it would be great if you can create a sub-section of most frequently used social media platforms such as Twitter, and briefly describe what kinds of contents people posted on Twitter, and how fast their posts spread across the Arab world. Although the existing article somewhat offers examples of how social media platforms were used, I think that there is more room to cover this particular subsection. If you can incorporate this into your article, I believe that it will definitely improve your article. Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

b. Aftermath: The existing article mostly highlights the political and religious consequences of the Arab Spring. Thus, it is great idea to bring in some of socio-economic consequences as you mentioned in your sandbox. Besides tourism and unemployment rates, you can also talk about the decrease in foreign direct investments and the weakening of investment confidence. I think it is also a great idea to explain the changes in individuals’ perception on politics across different generations after the Arab Upheaval. Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

c. Overall: You are trying to illustrate the Arab Spring from many different angles. Your efforts on this article will definitely help improve the quality of this article. However, I noticed that the same sources were cited as separate sources; thus, you should revise your reference section. Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

''Responses: Great ideas!! I think I will add a viewpoints section, then I can add more direct quotes without analyzing them. I am not sure if I am allowed to add screenshotted tweets, or even if thats ok content for wikipedia. As stated before, I struggled to find scholarly articles and publish studies that were not available to the public that talked about specific tweets and social media postings. Great ideas for the aftermath. Since it is 5+ years after, I can look more in-depth into studies and how the country is seen today. Here is something I can go off of, however I should find something that is a scholarly article: http://www.rubincenter.org/2016/02/the-impact-of-the-arab-spring-on-the-political-future-of-the-muslim-brotherhood-in-the-middle-east-jordan-as-a-case-study/

" He argues that social movements are rational attempts by disadvantaged people to mobilize collective political power to achieve their common goal or interest. Doug McAdam argues that in order for individuals to participate in a movement, they must feel the current political system lacks legitimacy and that their participation could bring about meaningful change in the society."

Something to add: '''Hashtagged discussions emerge without being controlled by any one organization or user...Any Twitter user could include #egypt or #liibya in his or her tweets, regardless of the user's proximity to the uprisings or involvement in the protests (the range of participants discussing #egypt is studied by Lotan et. al., 2011)." (The Arab Spring and Social Media Audiences: English and Arabic Twitter Users and Their Networks by Axel Burns, Tim Highfield, and Jean Burgess page 873)

In response to the same sources being added, it was because I cited them at two different parts. So they ended up at the bottom twice, this happens because wikipedia cites them individually because they are linked to a number. Not sure how to fix this? ''

3. International Reaction a. Varying reactions: Your addition of the summary of varying reactions from different governments after Noam Chomsky’s quote helps readers better understand the preceding quote. The structure has become more solid, and the content has become more lucid after your revision. Yet, the last sentence saying “Global communication has become more important after Arab Spring to connect us all” sounds somewhat subjective. You should revise this sentence in order to keep the tone more neutral. Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

b. Overall: It’s a great start! Just keep in mind that you should maintain neutrality throughout the entire article. Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC) '' Responses: Thanks for catching that! I will change important to prominent. '' 4. Daniel Doherty Art a. Your lead section does well in summarizing what the rest of the article will say about Daniel Doherty’s Art with the use of various reliable sources. It is also great that you highlighted his major work in the Mission District. It would be even better if you can mention when Daniel Doherty first started creating murals in San Francisco. At the moment, there is no mention regarding when Daniel Doherty began his career as a muralist.Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

b. Overall: I think you are on a good track. Your lead section is interesting as well as informative. I am looking forward to reading this page about Daniel Doherty Art!Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC)

Keep up the good work!Yjtalk0825 (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2016 (UTC) ''

Responses: Daniel Doherty does not have a huge presence on the web, but I will try and find more information about him to paint a full picture. I appreciate all your amazingly helpful advice and edits. Thank you! Miasdae (talk) 01:32, 9 November 2016 (UTC) ''