User talk:Michael baker is the man dude

A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.

The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."

The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby ... if I can, and I think I can."

The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can ... and I think can!

" One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if they could name some things you can suck!"

"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.

"Good, Mary." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?". "How about a lollipop!" said Steven.

"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said.

Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".

The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer. The teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"

Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it."

Your mama is so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it ...

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ...?"

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell ... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth. Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

She got cold and turned off the fan.

Your mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.

Your mumma's so fat when she goes to McDonalds they ask her what she doesn't want!

Your mama is so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

Your Mama is so ugly, on halloween, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone!

Your moma is so dumb. When she got lost in a Wal-Mart she went around asking the smilie faces which way was out!