User talk:Miskfortune/sandbox

Peer Review of Sue Coe Article
Lead: Don't know if you need a common after illustrator (I too, use a lot of commons when I am writing). Second sentence, I think you are missing "is," as in "Her work is in the..." Third sentence, oxford common? Also would replace hung with shown.

Early Life: Small thing, in the second paragraph for the date range for her time at the Royal College of Art, there are extra spaces around the dash.

Fine Art: Second paragraph, should Police State have quotes around it, or be italicized? third paragraph, I don't think there is a period at the end of first sentence and maybe change the end of the sentence, to like "depicts these harsh realities. Also, I think you have to use another dash, not a comma after control. there are a couple spelling errors in a row, va semi-autobographical. No common needed after America Fourth paragraph, comma should be before and. You also have the British spelling of organization. Citation for her influences, maybe? Last sentence about the animal rights movie might need a citation?

That's what I got for now, good job fleshing out the Fine Arts section. God, I can't imagine growing up next to a slaughterhouse. How awful. --Oldbackpack (talk) 14:42, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

Thanks, friend!! This helps so much! Miskfortune (talk) 22:59, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

== Article Feedback == Hi Miskfortune,

Good work on your article! You nicely outlined possible improvements to Sue Coe's article and then proceeded to add them, all the while copy-editing as you went. I especially like the section you added (with hyperlinks) which describes Coe's artistic style and involvement with animal rights, a key part of her work that was previously unexplored within the article. I imagine this must have been a difficult article in which to retain a neutral voice, which you did successfully. I'm curious about the bibliography--did you add many sources? It was difficult for me to tell but I think you added Police State and The Life and Times of Malcolm X. Your peer review was fine. I did subtract some points because you missed the Wikipedia Evaluation from week 9. Other than that good work. I hope someday the article gets an image! Zipperbrown (talk) 18:41, 4 May 2018 (UTC)