User talk:Miss.Ashlyn/sandbox

Peer Review Hello! I really enjoyed reading your updates for the article, especially in regards to Firestone's activism. This is amazing work and you have done some fine research. The only thing I would suggest is to make the Radical Feminist section part of her writing and explaining why the Dialectic of Sex is a radical feminist text or to expand upon her radical feminism a bit more to make the section more substantial. Hope this helps you – although it looks as though you've covered all the bases. Good luck on the second draft! Leslyn S (talk) 01:28, 9 November 2019 (UTC)

Peer review by Jenny Bouchier
Something that I think could be expanded upon is her legacy of cyberfeminism -- this would be good to have under a subheading. Many of the sections in this article could benefit from more subheadings, or maybe just paring down of information. For example, I think "death" and "legacy" should be split up. There are several instances of "interesting, but unneeded" details throughout the article, such as the description of her death. "On August 28th 2012, Firestone was found dead in her New York apartment. ... According to her sister, she died of natural causes." We don't really need to know that her superintendent found her, but I think it is important to know that it was probably natural causes though we won't know for sure because of her family's religious beliefs.

Jbouchie (talk) 04:48, 9 November 2019 (UTC)

Instructor Feedback. Note: This article has received three peer reviews.
Cyberfeminism: terrific! You found new important things and really improved the article. The connection with Firestone is absolutely news to me. I won’t try to incorporate this into my lecture this year but rather I will leave this for the two of you to tell people about in your final presentation. Each article presents different challenges, and different opportunities, and every student (or team) is also unique in terms of strengths and interests, so everyone will have had a different experience doing this assignment. Therefore there can’t be a single formula for what to emphasize or present in your class presentation but in your case I feel as if it’s clear that what you should present is cyberfeminism and Firestone’s position as an inspirational figure in the movement. I had never heard of it and (as noted) I won’t mention it, but I would very much like you to present this to the class as additional significant information, possibly including describing how and why you knew about that to begin with or discovered it in the course of your research. As for the actual Wikipedia work: I think Bouchier is correct that you could expand on the cyberfeminism point as well as make “legacy” a separate section from “death”– it’s an important original contribution, and you have three separate citations for it already, which probably means there is more to say (either by exploiting those sources more or by finding additional ones). And it could easily be its own section inside the new “legacy” section of the Firestone article if you do expand on it. You of course have to link with the Cyberfeminism article in Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberfeminism), which fails to mention Firestone and dates the origin of the strand of feminism to Donna Haraway’s work in a 1985 article. So you will have to correct THAT article by revising it to include Firestone so that will be a very easy and clear way for you to address the larger narrative level, namely by integrating Firestone into that article in the Feminism series, but you should also consider how you might be able to get Cyberfeminism into the History of Feminism series. And if you haven’t read the Haraway stuff, read it! It’s great just anyway, and reading it will help you properly deal with the change to give more credit to Firestone. I have not read the three things you cite in connection with Firestone and cyberfeminism; possibly they already explicitly thematize the relationship between Firestone and Haraway, but possibly they don’t. You will want to see whether Haraway ever herself mentions Firestone and you will want to try to come to an understanding for yourselves about how you think Firestone’s work relates to Haraway’s and what the status of each is/should be in the history of cyberfeminism. You might be skating somewhat close to the thin ice of original research, which Wikipedia forbids, but I think you should be able to be safe. Please don’t hesitate to come talk to me about this if you find yourselves struggling. All of which is not to say that you should focus 100% of your efforts on cyberfeminism. So, for instance, make sure to take advantage of the extremely valuable and detailed peer review by Roitberg! --FeliceLifshitz (talk) 04:41, 14 November 2019 (UTC)